First time here? Check out the guides to Shamanic wRites and The Medicine Drum Journeys for an overview and step-by-step directions.

Shamanic wRites: Dear the Spirits of This Place…

The Spirits of Place hold different meanings for different people, yet striking similarities emerge across cultures separated by thousands of miles.

For example, when exploring the spirits of place, we are commonly met by the spirits of:

• Nature

• Elements

• Trees

• Mountains

• Bodies of water

• Guardians

• Thresholds

• Ancestors—familial, tribal, national

• Ghosts

• Deities

• Holy teachers

• Taboos

• Gateways to the Lowerworld and Upperworld

There are specialists who can help us into right relationship with each one of the above, and then establish alignment with the entire cosmos and all of the inhabitants within the Web of Life.

So, as you can see, there’s much to consider when engaging with the spirits of place.

My First Impressions of Chiang Mai, Thailand

After eight wonderful months here, I’ve come to love the spiritual and animistic currents woven into daily life. There are:

• Spirit houses for ancestors outside most dwellings

• Buddhist temples aligned with the four directions and heavenly cosmology

• These same temples also honor Hindu gods and animistic traditions

• Many people wearing magical amulets and talismans blessed by monks

• Sacred Thai tattoos (Sak Yant) worn with pride

Daily interactions reflect this deep spiritual presence. A simple gesture—hands in prayer position over the heart with a slight bow—accompanies even the smallest exchanges. On the street, many people make eye contact and offer a quick nod, a silent blessing of recognition: I see you.

This spirit infuses everyday life, feeding both the people and the place itself.

Diaspora, Tourism & Belonging

My relationship to this place is like that of a water skeeter flittering along the surface when compared to families whose roots have deepened over generations—through buried bones, endured struggles, conflicts and their resolutions, then more struggles, expressions and rituals of grief and celebration, more challenges—all churning together into the humus that feeds this land, and from which the culture that nourish the spirits grow.

I bring a clear awareness of this and my own presence. Know thyself—and, in this case, know the spirits of the place I come from.

Born on the island of Manhattan, I have spent countless hours walking its streets, listening to the echoes of those who came before.

I felt my first home and deepest sense of belonging growing up in upstate New York about 70 miles straight up the Hudson River. We were on three acres of land with a garden of corn, lettuce, zucchini, pumpkins, squash, carrots, apples, cherries, pears, more apples and more apples, pickling the cucumbers, cantaloupe, potatoes, peas, broccoli, cauliflower, and the best Beefsteak tomatoes in the world - hands down - with too many deer mowing down the finally fruiting asparagus that took so long to grow, frozen toes and frozen fingers playing hockey all day on frozen ponds, watched by hawks, owls, and buzzards, with a head full of angry hornets after I wrist-rocketed their magnificent gray papered home, honey bees, lots of wasps in the barn that were much easier to outrun than the hornets, night crawlers, ferrel dog packs, lousy loud hunters who were as subtle as a belly-flop from the rope that swings out over the reservoir to drop you a good 40 feet into the never warm enough water, where if dived correctly, the temperature drops drastically in a second as you zip down into the creepy tangled muck, and to prove how bad those hunters actually were, I’d stalk close enough to touch those same hunted deer more than once, because I was taught by Taffy my still-wild cat who brought home her catch daily and once climbed a bare winter tree to successfully eradicate a perched humongous Snowy Owl from her territory with a surprise smack in the tail feather, fish, bats, skunks, fat ground hogs standing up from the back of the garden mockingly masticating what I thought were my root vegetables in a side-to-side chew that looked awfully a lot like a smirk, dairy farms & meat farms, fresh eggs from super chickens, long bike rides between friend’s houses, speeding down hills faster than cars, fast enough to make your eyes fill with water, fast enough to feel the edge, deer paths that have too many sharp turns to navigate safely while riding a runner sled through fresh snow at top speed, cardinals, jays, red-winged black birds, the migration of crows moving in and taking over every empty fall branch and leaving just as suddenly a few days later, the late spring wail of the mother cows when the calves had been taken away, exploring fields, creeks, hills with my black Lab, Pepper, who was hit by Mr. K’s jeep and I held up his broken neck and bleeding skull in the backseat of mom’s Oldsmobile on the way to the vet, and then, not understanding why he couldn’t help - and how I still carry that dog’s tag in my medicine bag.

All of that, and much more, is what fed me and fostered belonging into Home and the spirits of that place. But it’s home no more.

Times change, needs change, people move on.

Cross Atlantics

I am four generations removed from the voyage of hope my biz-biz nonna and biz-biz nonno (great, great grandmother and great, great grandfather) made from Europe to North America in 1898. The trail back to their hometown, Valle de Mosso in Italy’s Piedmont region, was still fresh enough to follow, thanks to handwritten records documenting their journey from both continents.

On my pilgrimage to their village in the foothills of the Alps, I visited shops, graves, family homes, an ancient bakery—now in the process of being turned into condos (condos? here?!) and even a distant relative, all of which carried our family name.

From these pieces, I stitched together the story of why they left. It’s the same story told across time and place—a kind of perennial philosophy: “Conditions are worsening here. Let’s follow the promise of something better somewhere else.” A common human response, and sometimes the only choice, but in the search for better...

What is lost and what gets left behind?

Our relationships with the spirits of place, home, and belonging.

We move on, carrying what we can, clutching to the fading memories of home.

Alongside or On Top Of?

When we leave home, it's natural to long for what we miss—our language, our food, the shared shorthand of humor, belief and understanding.

But how do we plant these now-foreign seeds of our culture in a place already full and thriving, and where life carries on just fine without us?

It’s simple: when we listen, respect, and honor what’s already here—by not barging in, not breaking anything, not imposing, learning to move in harmony with local customs, we avoid what Italians call la brutta figura (the bad impression) that is often associated with crass, pushy North American tourists, we let go of expectations of accommodation and begin to find where our gifts naturally fit.

If we don’t and instead try to fill the void with our own longing for home, we risk paving over what already thrives, ignoring the spirits of place. The real kicker? We end up recreating the very hardships that once drove our own ancestors to seek something better.

Home is working alongside, not against each other—to learn, not impose; to build, not flatten; to collaborate, not conquer.

Where to Begin?

No matter where you travel, a simple greeting and a heartfelt thank you in the local language go a long way. In Thai, “Sawasdee kap” means hello, while “Khawp khun kap” (for men) and “Khawp khun ka” (for women) mean thank you—often paired with a bow and hands in a prayer-like gesture.

I recommend starting with these same sentiments when approaching the spirits of place—a humble greeting followed by gratitude for the food, water, and shelter provided by this land and its people.

Let’s wRite.

Let’s write right from our hearts directly to the Spirits of This Place using the Shamanic wRites exercise.

What’s your Place that you’ll be exploring?

If you’re ready, go ahead and do whatever prep is necessary for you to begin. The audio file with drumming is just below. Or, if you’d like a quick overview of the directions and step-by-step guidance, you can find it here.

Drumming Audio File: Just Drums

Shamanic wRites pPrompt:

Dear the Spirits of This Place…

After wRites:

How did you do? What did you discover?

If you’d like to share what you received, please feel free to post it in the comments below or email them to me directly. I always enjoy hearing what’s been discovered!

I will be sharing what I received from the prompt, as well as discussing The Spirits of Place in more detail on the next episode of The Sober Shaman Podcast.

You’ll find it in the podcasts here when it’s released this time next week.

I invite you to share and collaborate.

Connection is Medicine, and I’m always looking for “the others” with like-minds and open hearts!

• Do you want to present or respond to a prompt?

• Have a shamanic concept you’d like to explore?

• Want to talk about it in an interview or respond in writing to a few questions?

I’m all for it and would love to feature kindred journeyers in this space. Let’s discuss the possibilities. Email me here: spirit@randallyons.com

Want more? There are 52 interconnected Shamanic wRites and Medicine Drum Journeys in The Program. Feel free to explore and share what you discover.

With blessings,
Randal

Subscribe now

I love this journey because it consistently delivers powerful and insightful experiences, especially for those seeking healing from addiction, trauma, and other associated mental health challenges.

Why? Because...

Addiction separates — The Web connects.

Addiction takes hold and sustains itself by keeping us isolated. It thrives when it distances us from:

• Loved ones

• What we truly love to do

• Activities that inspire, illuminate, and expand our awareness

• Places that evoke a sense of home and belonging

Isolated and feeling alone against our addiction, we become vulnerable to fear. It takes root, infects our thoughts. and gains a momentum that reinforces our limiting core beliefs. It convinces us that, in this moment, we are not okay just as we are. This is the great lie and one that tells us:

• We deserve to be alone

• These beliefs are true

• Relief is only achieved through the familiar path of the cycle of addiction

The Element of Earth

We heal addiction’s pathological power to separate by administering the medicine of connection. We can most easily understand, access and apply this medicine during the Earth Element phase of our Five Element cycle. But before we embark upon our journey to receive its gifts, let’s explore how addiction hijacks the power of Earth—and what takes root in its place when we remain trapped in the cycle of addiction.

As shown in the chart above, the Earth phase of the cycle is when we finally consume our drug of choice. After all the effort spent planning, acquiring, and preparing, the moment of ingestion becomes the climax of this process. This is a powerful and transformative time, offering brief relief from our deepest and most painful beliefs. It is here that we experience:

• The rituals of using

• The Magic Moment when addiction "works"

• Communion with our drug of choice

The Earth phase provides all of the above. And while The Magic Moment offers temporary relief, it is fleeting. Inevitably, the cycle moves into the next element—Metal—where the consequences and fresh heartbreaks come into focus. As a result, this is when the need to conceal our actions arise, leading to all of the lying, hiding and secrecy that is necessary.

Unfortunately, no matter how well we hide the events and consequences of the cycle from the outside world, we cannot escape the internal toll it takes. In the end, all we have done is reinforce our deepest, most painful beliefs. The original lie—that we are somehow not enough —now appears to have evidence to support it. We’ve unknowingly proven the lie to be true, and that is the only way it can survive.

To break this cycle in the present moment, we apply the medicine of connection. Through the journey to the Web of Life, we can receive this healing in a form that carries the spiritual power of:

• Support

• Home

• Nourishment

• Communion

Let’s Journey to The Web of Life.

If you’re ready to undertake this journey, prepare you time, place and have your pen & journal close by to record your experience and answer the after journey questions.

Journey Intention: “I will ask my compassionate and helping spirits to take me to The Web of Life.”

Here’s a 10-minute audio file of steady, monotonous drumming:

If you’re new, curious, and would like to know more, here’s The Sober Shaman’s Guide to the Shamanic Journey, which will provide you with step-by-step guidance to perform this spiritual endeavor.

After Journey Questions:

How did the Web appear to you?

What were your initial impressions and feelings?

How did connection occur here?

What were you connected to?

• Was this close?

• Far away?

• How did these connections feel?

Did you travel the Web?

• If so, what was this like?

Overall, what feelings did your experience provide?

What do you need to do back here in Ordinary Reality to:

• Stay connected

• Reinforce connection

• Or dismantle the lie of separateness

• Feed what is important to you

Summary

The Journey to the Web of Life can provide you with an experience of strong medicine. The popular recovery saying, “connection is the opposite of addiction” applies here and is especially true as we examine the ways your addiction keeps you from love, truth and all that your heart holds dear.

I would love to hear what you received on your journey to The Web of Life, so feel free to leave comments below or email me directly. Also, I’m happy to address any questions about your experience in an upcoming podcast, if you’d like to share. We never know how our experiences, whether we’ve judged them good or bad, can help someone right here and now.

With Blessings,

Randal

Subscribe now

Don’t Forget…

We’ll be diving into the details for the journey to The Web of Life in the next episode of The Sober Shaman Podcast!

First time here? Check out the guides to Shamanic wRites and The Medicine Drum Journeys for an overview and step-by-step directions

Welcome to the first wRites offering of The Sober Shaman for 2025!

I’m rolling out a new format, where I’ll be providing you with an original Shamanic wRites prompt and/or Medicine Drum Journey in each post.

Because I want this work to continue growing, it means I must keep growing too. I’ll be exploring and discovering right alongside you. I’ll report back, and together, we can share the insights and medicines we receive.

Today’s topic and pre-prompt thoughts

How much do you trust yourself?

This question is especially slippery in early recovery, as the consequences of addiction are still fresh in everyone’s memory, proving just how untrustworthy you can be.

So, how do you separate the part of you that truly knows and has the ability to “do the next right thing” from the incoming messages of the slippery, shadowy desires of addiction?

How do you awaken the part of yourself that can hear, recognize, and trust the truth that resides deep within your bones?

For me, it was simple, but it certainly wasn’t easy.

I had to set clear boundaries around the self-trusting, self-knowing part of myself to protect it from the well-meaning but unsupportive suggestions of professionals and loved ones—and then immediately prove it to myself.

And not for them, but for me.

The path I chose was a spiritual one. I doubled down on what had worked—and what had kept me alive—through my active addiction: Chinese Medicine and core shamanism.

Not topics that earned many looks of understanding or vocal support in group rooms or personal therapy offices, but... I knew it worked for me.

Cutting to the chase...

It did work for me. And from that, I’ve witnessed how it’s worked for literally thousands of others during my honored and special times working at various treatment centers.

But as I’ve said, it’s time to keep moving forward and not rest on the laurels of my past work (The Program).

In that spirit, I’ve come up with this premise:

Stop searching. Start trusting.

Stop searching for one more quick-fix promise from another internet expert or the latest scientific breakthrough.

Instead...

Start trusting.

Trust the truths that you already know.

It’s what...

Speaks to your heart,
Touches your soul, and
Resides in your bones.

And while I put a lot of time and effort into playing with the words, rhythm, and flow, I have to ask myself...

“That sounds great, but what exactly does that mean?”

And...

“How am I supposed to do that—let alone ask it of someone else?”

Let’s wRite.

Let’s dive into the Shamanic wRites prompt, so we can experience and explore the answers to these questions.

If you’re ready, go ahead and do whatever prep is necessary for you to begin. Or, if you’d like a quick overview of the directions and step-by-step guidance, you can find it here.

Put simply:

• Prepare your writing space.

• Prepare your mind (breathing, conscious relaxation, etc.).

• Start the drum audio file.

• Read the prompt.

• Go! Put pen to paper—no editing, no stopping.

• End when the drums end.

• Send thanks into everything you’ve seen and done.

• Feel yourself fully back in your body and in your room.

Drumming Audio File: Just Drums

Shamanic wRites pPrompt:

If I trusted the truths that reside in my bones I would…

Post-wRites

Here is what I received from the prompt:

If I trusted the truths that reside in my bones I would…

Go there.

And sit in the cavern of the hollow.

Like a limestone cave these bones have been carved by experience over time.

The carry the weight of wisdom

The haul the magic of the body

They know the hard, foundational truths

If I trusted these truths I could stand, like I never have before.

Like a mountain.

While inside travels the marrow of nourishment

So much happening behind the walls.

The beauty is in the spaces

The structure is in the open spaces

If I trusted this…

I would rest into this space

Without fear of the empty

And not enough

The Bones of Earth hold me

The Bones of Others turn into mountains of beauty

We meet inside, in the space

This is trust.

Not in conquering, climbing, achieving, upscaling on the outside

That’s the surface

It has its place

But we’re talking about these bones.

“And trusting Us means

Trusting yourself

And what and who got you here

Everyone

And

Everything.”

I loved this one. While I’m not going to go into the details of what I received from the prompt in writing right here and now, I’ll give you this bulleted outline:

• Going to where the truth resides

• Merging with my spiritual bones

• Writing from this place

• Receiving the messages of truth

We will explore all of this in the accompanying podcast for this post.

You’ll find it in the podcasts here when it’s released this time next week.

I invite you to share and collaborate.

Connection is Medicine, and I’m putting out a call for collaborators!

• Do you want to present or respond to a prompt?

• Have a shamanic concept you’d like to explore?

• Want to talk about it in an interview or respond in writing to a few questions?

I’m all for it and would love to feature kindred journeyers in this space. Let’s discuss the possibilities. Email me here: spirit@randallyons.com

Subscribe now

Want more? There are 52 interconnected Shamanic wRites and Medicine Drum Journeys in The Program. Feel free to explore and share what you discover.

With blessings,
Randal

Welcome to Shamanic wRites! Here’s an introduction to the work, along with a how-to guide to help you fully participate in the exercises. Below you’ll find:

• An introduction to Shamanic wRites

• What makes Shamanic wRites unique

• How the exercises are structured

• Step-by-step guidance

• An invitation to collaborate

An introduction to Shamanic wRites

Shamanic wRites is a writing exercise designed to provide information, insight, and healing for specific topics of personal concern. Each exercise invites you to respond to a writing prompt, performed from a shamanic perspective using basic core-shamanic techniques. No prior experience is necessary, and there’s no requirement to change your spiritual beliefs.

I was first introduced to this method during the reunions of my 3-Year Training at the Foundation for Shamanic Studies by my friend and colleague, Beth Beurkins, MFA. From there, my healing experiences with Martin Prechtel showed me how to take things a step deeper and incorporate this method into ritual.

Over the years, I integrated this work into my Masks of Addiction and Soul Courting programs, offering once-a-month workshops at an incredible inpatient addiction treatment center for over a decade. The structure and spirit of those workshops inspire the exercises offered here.

What makes Shamanic Rites unique

Many people have discovered and enjoy the freedom of writing prompts. You just put that pen to paper and let it rip! It’s awesome.

So, what makes Shamanic wRites different?

Quite simply, you’ll gain these added benefits:

• A fresh perspective on your writing

• A unique way of experiencing where your writing comes from

• If you’re incorporating spirituality, a clear method for connecting to spirit and writing both from and to it

What’s a shaman?

A shaman is someone who’s in relationship with spirits and can employ them on behalf of an individual or community to help solve problems here in ordinary reality.

The shaman engages with these spirits through the shamanic journey. This is a means of gathering information, knowledge, and power while in partnership with the spirits. The shaman then returns with these gifts to use for our benefit.

Traditionally, the shaman was an essential component of society. Their role was to maintain a healthy relationship between the activities of a culture and the natural world around them. This interdependence and ongoing conversation was considered a vital part of society’s day-to-day endeavors and how it stayed healthy.

From my post: The Shamanic Journey & Addiction Recovery

Because we’ve lost our connection to spirit—and the ways we receive information, knowledge, and healing power directly from spirits—as well as our belief in our natural human birthright and ability to do so, the whole concept of shaman, shamanism, and, to a larger degree, even spirituality, has become the subject of wide-ranging debate.

The Shamanic wRites exercise is designed to bypass all the noise that suggests this disconnection. We call upon our innate human ability and invoke our natural birthright to connect directly to, write from, and, in some cases, write as our helping and compassionate spirits.

In so doing, we can choose—if not implicitly suggested in the specific writing exercise’s instructions—to:

• Write directly to the spirit

• Merge with and write from the spirit’s perspective

Both of these perspectives are accessed from a shamanic state of consciousness (SSC), facilitated by a steady, monotonous drumbeat (an audio is provided with each Shamanic wRites post).1

This SSC is not incapacitating or debilitating; on the contrary, with a little practice, it is quite liberating and freeing.

While the above two perspectives are not unique to Shamanic wRites, nor is entering into an SSC the only way to connect with spirit, using the drums to facilitate the conscious state will be the method we use for the exercises.

How the exercises are structured

Shamanic wRites exercises adhere to the following structure:

• Subject

• Pre-prompt

• Prompt wRites

• Post-prompt

Subject

• Each Shamanic wRites exercise explores a specific health- and/or addiction-related topic.

• We will explore new ways of looking at the topic from a spiritual perspective. We’ll gather information provided by spiritual practice and direct communication, as well as return with the power from—or to be applied toward—healing.

Pre-prompt

• For some topics, there will be suggested pre-prompt work. This is just a suggestion, and like the actual writing itself, it does not have to be performed from a shamanic/spiritual perspective.

• If you already have a prompt-writing practice and want to apply the way you already do things, that’s great, but still performing the pre-prompt work is recommended.

Prompt wRites

• Below is a step-by-step guide for entering into and writing from the SSC.

Post-prompt

• There may be some post-prompt follow-up you’d like to engage in, including answering specific questions and the possibility of sharing what you’ve written.

Step-by-step guidance

Here is the general step-by-step guidance on how to enter into the SSC and engage with the Shamanic wRites exercises:

• Logistics

• Intentions

• Pre-wRites

• wRites

• Post-wRites

Logistics

• Have all of your materials close at hand and ready.

• Prepare your time and space so that it forms a safe and protected container, and make sure you will not be disturbed. Your writing deserves this.

Intention

• A clear intention gets a clear answer, while big, ambiguous intentions will land you with big, ambiguous answers.

• If the subject of a wRites exercise is of particular concern to you, spend time beforehand really drilling down into what kind of information you’d like to receive. It makes a big difference.

• Then again, if you’re “just” curious about a wRites prompt, go in with that. I find that discovery and surprise are often among the most amazing gifts provided by this work.

Pre-wRites

• From a non-judgmental, objective perspective, spend some time meditating, journeying, or thinking about the subject of the wRites—but not the prompt itself, because ideally, we want the first time you encounter it to be when you’re ready to begin writing.

• Go over any pre-prompt preparatory questions.

• Perform any pre-prompt exercises, such as merging with a helping and compassionate spirit or taking a shamanic journey to a specific place.

wRites

Let’s begin…

• Get comfortable, play the drums, and receive the prompt.

• Let it rip! Put pen to paper—no editing, no judgment—just write.

• If you come to a pause, breathe, recollect yourself, and recall the prompt. Start right back up from exactly where you are.

• Keep going until the drums call you back.

• Stop writing. Send thanks to everything you’ve seen and done, and return so that you’re fully back in your body. Breathe.

• If you wish, you can now read what you’ve written, or you can put it aside until later. Whichever feels right.

• After you’ve read it, you may want to consider some small edits—but make sure you don’t lose the essence of what you experienced and are only making it clearer.

• Share it where, when, and with whom you feel it is appropriate.

Post-wRites

• Answer any post-wRites questions that are specific to the exercise.

In general:

• Was this different than how you normally respond to a prompt?

• Notice exactly how it was different?

• Do you like this? Why or why not?

• How did writing to, from, or as the spirit work for you?

An invitation to collaborate

Connection is Medicine, and I’m putting out a call for collaborators!

• Do you want to present or respond to a prompt?

• Have a shamanic concept you’d like to explore?

• Want to talk about it in an interview or respond in writing to a few questions?

I’m all for it and would love to feature kindred journeyers in this space. Let’s discuss the possibilities. Email me here: spirit@randallyons.com

This work is alive for me; therefore, it’s always growing, shifting, and expanding. Depending on who is writing, the new insights we bring, the context we frame it in, and the power of the messages and direct healing from our helping and compassionate spirits all contribute to this evolution.

With blessings,
Randal

For more investigation, check out the podcast episode that is the audio companion to this written post:

In this guide, you’ll find everything you need to undertake a successful shamanic journey. It’s a step-by-step instructional course that'll show you how to meet your own helping and compassionate spirits, and then how to receive the knowledge, information and healing power that directly relates to your personal situation.

At The Sober Shaman, we use the shamanic journey to transform addiction and heal trauma. We’ll shed some light on how we do exactly this and provide an introduction to that topic.

To begin, all you need to do is become a free subscriber and you'll gain immediate access to the course. After signup, you’ll automatically have access to the material beyond the paywall below, which contains The Guide.

You’ll receive the 58-page colorful PDF, an accompanying page-by-page guided video, and the audio file of the drumming that leads you on the shamanic journey.

These are yours to download and keep regardless of how long you stay a member, so please utilize them whenever you’d like to receive the gifts that are waiting for you on the journey!

Read more

J was my drummer. He and I could spend hours, just the two of us, jamming on a single riff. Exploring, experimenting, creating, discovering. He was my favorite person to play music with, and that’s exactly what it was—play, in every sense of the word.

When he and I closed the doors to our rehearsal room, we shut out pessimism and refused to let it poison the sound. Behind those doors, we created a safe space for possibility—one where new life could grow.

While we weren’t consciously aware of this at the time, we could feel that playing music together was a ritual of invitation. It invited the innocent, forgotten, and lost parts of ourselves to return, following the vibrations along the thinnest of threads. Those threads were a connection to what came before.

After a long and complicated battle with health issues, J committed suicide. And whether someone actually dies or just experiences the “death” of connection and innocence, this is how addiction plays out. It severs our tether to possibility. It cuts us off from ourself and estranges us from others. It eliminates feelings of safety and replaces them with a voice that tells us we’re not enough.

Even now—decades later and decades since I got sober—the void left by the loss of my connection to J remains. Each relationship is a dance, and he’s the only person who I fit together with in exactly that way. While we can try to recreate the same steps with another partner, it’s just not the same.

But I don’t believe that’s the end—not entirely. While our dance partners may no longer be with us on this earthly plane, it’s never too late to send invitations of reconnection and beauty.

If nothing else, we might offer such invitations for the sheer joy, magic, and medicine of play. It also reopens possibility and helps us reconnect with lost Soul Friends.

But first…

How did we get here? And how did we find our true Soul Friends?

Well, as addicts, one of the reasons that we dull our awareness with substances and actions is because we feel too much. We have a specific brand of sensitivity that’s reactive to a specific brand of pain.

This kind of pain comes from the wounds of trauma. Those wounds linger just beneath the surface of everyday life and consciousness. Ready to break through at any moment, they hold the secrets of a hidden and painful past. When laid bare, they wreak havoc on “normality” and disrupt the status quo.

In order to keep the status quo humming, we shove such feelings back under the surface. When things feel like too much, we numb them through using our addictive substance or behavior of choice.

Trauma. Secrets. Pain. Sensitivity. Using. The cycle perpetuates more of the same.

This kind of thing is easy to spot—especially if you’ve experienced it firsthand. We recognize others with a kindred sensitivity. We relate to their situation and form a connection. This place of connection holds possibility.

I’m not talking about hanging out with other addicts who are mindlessly reacting from trauma. I’m proposing that this recognition of shared sensitivity, pain, and addiction offers an opening. It’s an invitation to know and a doorway into an older, deeper, truer form of connection.

This soul-level resonance is like a musical note emanating from the instrument of one’s spirit and matching the vibration of another’s spirit. The reverberating harmonics of related frequencies bounce back and forth in song between two people. Both souls recognize a felt, mutual experience.

This familiarity goes beyond addiction, transcends rational knowing, and feels older than our present life and experience. It’s a seeing and knowing of another’s true spirit that I like to call a Soul Friend.

This is the brand of sensitivity I’m speaking about. It doesn’t require an explanation, and the two parties usually don’t speak of it or even fully recognize it when the bond is alive and well. A Soul Friend is someone who sees us and sees past all the crap; there are moments of deep connection without having to wade through the muck of processing.

It’s a kind of magic—like a brief and momentary touch of Grace from the Gods. We just don’t realize it at the time so, like most healing, it requires circling back and doing the human, hands-in-the-dirt work that we skipped.

Unfortunately, when it comes to addiction, these connections are often broken too soon. We lose this Soul Friend to an overdose, suicide, or the aptly termed “death by misadventure.”

What now? How do we talk to those who’ve left too soon?

When you were young and your heart
Was an open book
You used to say live and let live
You know you did
You know you did
You know you did

—Paul McCartney and Wings, “Live and Let Die”

When I lost my friend J, I always thought I’d find another to fill in that blank. Someone to take the place of my Soul Friend so that I could again be seen and known—because, after all, that first go-around was so natural, so easy to make, and I was so young…so, this should be a snap, right? There must be another right around the next corner.  

There wasn’t.

And so, the part of us that’s expecting the Universe to provide another stays in waiting and stays frozen—not only waiting for another to appear, but also waiting to be seen, to be shared, to be known. All that, and without having to do the work.

Now, there are two problems:

1. The Soul Friend is gone.

2. The part of me that was connected to them is frozen in place and in a state of waiting.

I’m going to have to stop waiting, do the work, unfreeze that part of myself, and reconnect with what I have now. I will send out the “notes” I play as words, phrases, and blessings so they may resonate in harmony with life, love, Nature, and soul.

Ready to join me?

Do you have a Soul Friend who left too soon?

Is there a part of you still waiting to be seen and known in the way that they saw and knew you?

Let’s wRite.

The work we do during the Shamanic wRites part of the Program is part of this process. Here’s one way to perform this particular exercise addressing your Soul Friend.

If you already have a spiritual writing practice, please feel free to undertake the work however it feels best for you and however you connect with spirit.

Also, I felt like drumming today, so here’s a new audio file to let your writing ride the drums!

Make an altar.

• Gather items that remind you of your Soul Friend. These can be pictures, talismans, concert tickets, etc.

• Arrange these items on an altar that will be in front of you when you’re writing.

• If possible, include a picture in which they are looking directly at the camera.

Set aside the time, space, and writing materials.

• Pick a time when you won’t be interrupted and turn off all devices.

• If you have special writing materials, have them close by and in front of your altar.

Spend time at the altar and connect.

• Looking at your altar, bring up memories of your Soul Friend in detail.

• Close your eyes, breathe, and deepen this connection.

• Call in your Soul Friend and call upon your frozen part, so you can meet again.

Listen to the drums.

• Play the above drumming audio.

Receive the prompt.

• Open your eyes and say the prompt aloud three times, sending the words directly into the eyes of your Soul Friend (either through a picture on the altar or in your mind’s eye).

• Write down the following prompt: “Dear [Name], My Soul Friend, you are not forgotten. The gifts you brought sparked my life. It is important that I remember you and these gifts now because…”

Write.

• From this place of connection, put pen to paper and let it rip.

• The drums will continue for about 9 minutes—keep writing.

• There will be a break in the rhythm, 4 sets of 7 beats, signaling that it’s time to finish.

• Put your pen down.

• There will be 1 minute of rapid drum beats—close your eyes, disengage, and send thanks into everything you’ve seen and done. 

• Another 4 sets of 7 beats signal the end of the session.

Finito.

• Feel yourself in your body and breathe.

• Take time to look over what you’ve written and digest what arose. Don’t jump back into the everyday. Give yourself the gift of receiving all that arose from this reconnection.

Client Example: Transforming Estrangement into Life, Blessing, and Prayer

Here’s an example from a client. S was generous enough to share how she worked through a couple of roadblocks that many of us run up against: the feelings of guilt and the expression of grief.

Her Soul Friend, IG, had recently passed. She had been estranged from him due to disagreement and miscommunication. This is a common consequence of addiction and compounds feelings of guilt and suppression of grief. There are some relationships—even those we hold closest—in which amends don’t occur. 

Maybe you can relate?

For S, this Shamanic wRites exercise facilitated healing through expression, release, forgiveness, and word-gifts of praise. 

Sitting in front of her altar, this is what she wrote, spoke, and sent to IG with intention:

IG, you lived this life unabashedly. 

Full tilt. Wind at your back, face towards the sun. 

All in, all the time. 

Your gift to deeply connect with people was unprecedented. 

You not only saw a person’s spirit, you told them so. 

You led. And we followed. 

You are my brother eternally and I love you so very much.

Love for real not fade away.

She voiced the above three times in succession. Taking a few breaths after each reading, she brought in new memories of their Soul Friendship, refocused on connecting directly to his eyes, and sent forth another round of heartfelt medicine. 

After the final waves of rising and falling emotions subsided, we sent thanks to all of the spirits involved and closed the ritual. For now, this was good. At the same time, S knew it was something she’d need to put into practice going forward.

And this is all we can do on this side of life and death: express from our Hearts, send our message with love and blessings, and know that it is providing notes of harmony that are powered by our best human efforts—ones that perhaps will find their way to and resonate with our Soul Friend.

If not, we failed beautifully. And that’s never a failure.

Important Shifts

In this method of writing, we shift from writing about a Soul Friend to writing directly to them. They are not a fixed-in-place object.

• This is what shamanism in the 21st century is all about.

• This is what The Sober Shaman and Shamanic wRites is all about.

• This is what the necessary shifts in spirituality are all about.

It doesn’t matter whether you call it shamanism or spirituality, or even if you incorporate it into the religion that works for you.

It’s all about reclaiming our direct connection to and our inherent relationships with our helping and compassionate spirits.

Spirits are not something to be written about as much as they are to be faced, recognized, remembered, and written and spoken to.

When we write about something, it’s an it, an other, and an object—which on the page makes it captured, static, and stagnant.

In contrast, writing in relationship with is a surprise. It’s alive, moving, and ebbs and flows. We enter into an exchange and a give-and-take. We feed and are fed. We nourish and receive nourishment.

When I was a young man, this came naturally and without explanation or effort in the presence of my Soul Friend J. Glimpses of these moments today serve as reminders that I have a practice needing tending.

Now You.

Some people do the writing portion of this work at a gravesite, and some take it to the gravesite to say aloud. Some speak it from the place where their Soul Friend’s ashes are spread or the place where they first met. Or perhaps where they played music together or shared food. Or maybe carried out into the Wind or the River or the Canyon or the Wood.

Wherever you do this practice, remember to write to your Soul Friend rather than about them. Make it a living, breathing, vibrating connection. See what arises. See, know, and connect with your Soul Friend’s true spirit.

I always love hearing what people receive from this work. If you feel called, please share what you’ve gotten below or send me an email: spirit@randallyons.com

With blessings,
Randal

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As AI slams into the cultural zeitgeist, we’re getting an introduction to the bizarre and glimpses of the inevitable. We’re talking fake news dropping from politicians’ computer-generated mouths, your favorite famous person showing up in deep-fake porn, and viral images that seem real—but are they?

This is all before the next wave, when neural links will blur the line even more.

So, what’s real? And, regardless of what’s real, what’s stronger? Belief or reality?

What’s stronger: belief or reality?

In my work in the addiction recovery space, this is one of my favorite questions and tends to produce big reactions. 

Why? Well, because it’s not so simple. Belief is sticky and has traction. 

A prevailing belief among many who are caught up in addiction goes something like this: “I don’t have a problem with (fill-in-the-blank). I’ve got everything under control.”

That may be their personal belief but, to the outside looking in, they most certainly do have a problem and are completely out of control.

In this case, the addict’s belief is stronger than the reality. Everyone aside from the addict can see that. Meanwhile, the addict clings to a belief that perpetuates the cycle of addiction (and makes it even more obvious), and around and around it goes.

We call this denial. It’s a real thing. It’s so real that it’s even stronger than reality. 

So, what’s real here?

The objective reality that the addict has a problem that’s causing harm to themselves and those around them…

…or the addict’s belief that they’re in control?

Well, both are true at the same time, aren’t they? After all:

1. The person does have a problem and is causing harm.

2. They are in control—just not how they think. They’re in control of perpetuating the cycle.

When belief becomes spirit

In shamanism, the reality of an embedded belief can take on a life all its own. This is a spirit, which has form, substance, and its own agenda.1

To gain insight into this situation, let’s turn to the language of spirit—which is symbolism and metaphor. Let’s visit this spirit as The Wall of Denial. 

We’ll do this by making use of our Shamanic wRites exercise. Here’s the step-by-step guidance: 

1. Prepare the setting in Ordinary Reality.

Set aside a specific time and place, and gather the materials you need to undertake the exercise.

2. Relax.

You can use the guided audio, which will lead you through the 3-minute, traditional Qi Gong visualization I’ve used at treatment centers:

Or, you can do this same exercise on your own without the audio.

Or, you can do your own exercise that relaxes the body, regulates the breath, calms the mind, and shifts awareness to your heart.

3. Connect with your spirits.

From this place of the heart, call upon your helping and compassionate spirits. Receive whomever will accompany you today and connect—from your eyes to their eyes, from your heart to their heart. Breathe into this connection.

4. Go to The Wall of Denial.

From this place of connection with your helping spirit, ask to be shown and to be taken to your Wall of Denial. 

If you’ve already done the Medicine Journey to The Wall of Denial, just bring these experiences back into the moment. If not, spend a moment there getting to know your Wall’s characteristics by answering these questions:

• What does it look like?

• What are your initial impressions?

• What is it made of? Feel it.

• How big is it?

• Where does it go?

• Ask your helping spirit to show you what lies on the other side. What’s there?

5. Receive the prompt. 

Receive and write from the following prompt: 

Dear my Wall of Denial, I see, feel, and know your messages and now I need to get to the other side of you because…

If you’re following along using the guided audio above, this is where the drums will begin. If you aren’t using the guided audio and prefer to use this audio track of just drums, begin it now.

As always, put pen to paper and just let it rip. Keep writing. This is not the time for censorship, judgement, or editing. 

If you’re using either the guided audio or just-drums audio, keep going until you hear the call back, which signals the end of the exercise is coming in one minute.

6. Release with thanks.

Release your connections to The Wall and your compassionate and helping spirits and send your thanks into everything you’ve seen and done.

After wRites

Well, what did you get? Is The Wall of Denial real? What’s stronger: belief or reality? 

For me, it’s all about belief. And when working with clients, the most important thing is not my belief but, rather, fitting my language and medicine into their beliefs. 

The reason this is essential is because so much of addiction is rooted in limiting core beliefs—ones that are based upon and perpetuate lies. To help a person expose, weaken, and dismantle their limiting beliefs—and help them get free from addiction—I meet them where they are. 

We start with their beliefs to address (and change) their reality.

The Shamanic wRites exercise offers an opportunity for exactly this. It offers possibilities for a supportive, honest, courageous path forward.

It’s a central component of The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery, where you’ll find a unique Shamanic wRites exercise in every one of the 52 Lessons. Access your Free Preview here.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction and looking for this kind of help, reach out to me here: spirit@randallyons.com

And if you feel like sharing your writing to The Wall of Denial, I’d love to hear what you received. Just email me at the address above or leave a comment below.

Leave a comment

With Blessings,
Randal

Watch the video for lots of additional insights on this particular exercise, as well as why using shamanism for addiction treatment works.

You can also listen to this same information on the podcast here:

P.S., Here’s another podcast episode where we explore this concept further, as well as provide the guided Shamanic wRites exercise to the Wall of Denial:

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1

This is an important distinction between shamanism and psychology. In shamanism, this spirit is seen as outside of oneself. In psychological approaches (as well as traditional writing approaches), it’s seen as part of oneself—existing within one’s imagination or mind.

In addition to considering the belief as a spirit, another scenario is when the belief comes from a spirit. This gets more complicated, but the main dynamics are the same. I’ll be discussing this in more detail in an upcoming episode of The Sober Shaman podcast. 

In my early twenties, killing time between morning and evening classes at the Institute of Audio Research in Greenwich Village, I’d walk the three miles up 5th Avenue to Central Park. My future was uncertain. My afternoons were free. I preferred to wander and wonder. 

At the Institute, I was learning the technical skills required to record music. Mastering the latest gizmos, I practiced turning knobs and pushing sliders while concentrating on what the meters, graphs, and sound waves were telling me and making sure everything was registering within range. Listening to music may be the premise of this field, but learning how to record is actually quite different. It requires another type of listening and an exact, focused, practical kind of attention.

Meanwhile, sitting on a park bench between classes, I took in New York City’s cacophony from all directions. Many would find the sensory overload stressful and altogether too much. And yet, in its midst, I managed to find calm, take a breath, and settle into thought. I’d focus on the trees, the birds, the squirrels looking for handouts—even the city machinery sounds, which carried a rhythm of their own. Noticing all this required a different kind of attention than music recording, as well as another kind of listening.

What are these kinds of listening? What should we know about their differences?

Each is focused on its own areas of concern. Each receives, interprets, and responds in its own unique way. 

Here’s what that looks like and why it’s important as we explore how to make the spiritual practical.

Watch the additional commentary on this topic here

or listen on the Podcast here

Mind Listening

This is our default. It’s what we do every day and becomes automatic.

Starting with the jolting alarm, the new day messages us with buzzes, beeps, and incoming notifications. Then come the voices we “hear” in emails and texts. Then comes live interaction with colleagues, acquaintances, family, and friends. Then the podcasts, videos, and our bubble of news.

We hear. We interpret. We put incoming information in its proper place and/or send off a response. Boom. That’s the mind’s jam.

The mind listens so it can provide:

• Judgment 

• Allocation 

• Response

It keeps things rolling. It employs a particular work ethic: “a place for everything, and everything has its place.”

It’s also mathematical—solving problems and getting things done. And while there’s always room for rational debate, there’s not much space for artistic expression. 

Heart Listening

Artistic reception is where heart listening comes in. The heart is concerned with:

• Feeling

• Nourishment

• Connection

Think of the heart as a big antenna at the top of our Mountain of Feeling. It’s scanning for and receiving all kinds of signals, but doesn’t dial in to just one signal based on “the facts.” Rather than prioritize logic, it seeks out the frequency that feels best.

The head listens with thinking. The heart listens with feeling.

While we need both in order to apply spiritual insights to everyday life, most of us are much more attuned to the head and the mind. The society we swim in reinforces, rewards, and demands this.

But, to make the spiritual practical, we need to hone in on the artist’s way and the heart’s brand of listening.

Yeah but…

I know, I know. Tuning in to heart listening and making it more prominent sounds great: “Follow your bliss” and all that.

But sure is the long way around (at best) when it comes to paying bills and getting shit done.

Yes, we need to eat and keep the lights on. And, this is true too:

For many of us, the mind hears this advice and:

• Judges it: “That’s a bunch of woo.”

• Allocates it: “I’ll figure it out later.”

• Responds with its version of a better solution: “Hmpf. I have a new, more logical plan. It’s superior to and bypasses this heart stuff.”

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Highlighting this heart-mind tension speaks to the exact reason many folks run into problems. They’ve got a good, logical, rewarding life—one that checks all of the boxes. And yet, for some reason, they don’t feel fulfilled.

They’re experiencing heart-sourced longing. This feeling emanates from the void of lack around these big issues. With my clients in the recovery field, this is often the gravitational pull at the core of addiction.

And while it can be a tough sell to get someone to sit next to me—literally and figuratively—on a park bench and listen to the heart, this is precisely where recovery begins. This is exactly the medicine required.

From there, the spiritual becomes practical. The steps of recovery fall into place.

Head to heart starts here.

Ready to sit next to me? Eager to listen with your heart? Start here:

One: Unplug.

Turn off your electrical devices. Yes all of them—no exceptions. Even better, put them away and out of sight and earshot (making sure no notifications will reach you).

Two: Get out of your mind.

Choose to intentionally not do what the mind wants. Don’t judge. Don’t allocate. Don’t respond from a mind-based, logic-led place to categorize, label, or repair what’s coming in.

Rather than do anything, make space for and allow reception—begin listening to your heart.

Three: Hook into Nature.

Once we unplug and set the intention to get out of our minds, we make space for a bigger possibility. This bigger possibility’s first layer of communication is Nature. By Nature, I mean the natural world—which is alive, beyond our control, all around us.

To hook into Nature and access heart listening, a few suggestions:

• Go for a walk.

• Notice what’s alive around you.

• Visit a body of water and sit next to it.

• Stand on a porch or in a doorway during the rain.

• Listen to the wind blowing through trees.

• Take a ferry ride and stand outside along the railing.

• Make a fire in the fireplace and gaze at the flames.

As you practice with this, what would it mean to:

• Receive.

• Surrender.

• Empty yourself of expectations and hoped for outcomes.

Truly listening with your heart requires relinquishing the reins of control. The reward?

Relief

When the mind drops the burden of having to know all the answers and can instead receive answers, a weight lifts.

Inspiration

When the mind surrenders control of steering the ship, inspiration can enter.1

A New Way Forward

When the mind releases its grip on getting the “right results,” solutions appear in the form of new, previously unknown ways forward.

See simplicity in the complicated.

I’m offering simple explanations and practices that bring a profound shift in perspective. Making the leap from listening with the mind to listening with the heart may even come across as childish because…

…it is. 

If you think back to your connection with Nature as a child, you were probably a lot better back then at hearing what was being communicated and shared. But even now, as an adult, try bringing to mind:

• Camping

• Fishing

• Hunting

• Gardening

• Climbing a mountain

• Watching the migration of purple martins!

Recognizing the differences between how the heart listens and how the mind listens is a powerful first step. From there, we bring spirit back into everyday life. From there, we make the spiritual practical.

Once we tune in to our hearts, then what? 

What comes back? Who’s doing the talking? What do we do with this new information? Well…

What comes back are answers. They may be clear and direct or take the form of symbolism and metaphor.2 How we interpret, understand, and apply these answers is our responsibility. Walking this path requires putting in work. (And finding a skillful, honest guide that your heart resonates with will be tremendously helpful.)

Spirits are doing the talking. One of the foundational tenets of shamanism is that spirits are real. They exist in non-ordinary reality, and we all have helpful and compassionate spirits that are available and waiting for our requests for help. This article is focused on the beginnings. From there, we move on to more advanced and deeper listening techniques.

For example, you can learn how to undertake a shamanic journey, by which you will go to specific places in the spirit realms and connect with your personal helping spirits. You can also use my Shamanic wRites exercises as a way to connect with and write to these spirits. Either way, you’ll receive answers and guidance from the spirits directly. In shamanism, you do not need an intermediary between you and the divine.

As for what to do with the information? Quite simply, just apply the information you’ve received to your life. Does it work? 

• If so, why?

• If not, why not?

Do you need to go back and get clarification? And if you’ve successfully integrated these messages into your life, you may be ready to go back and receive your next steps.

Effectiveness is the measure of truth.3 If it works for you, accept that. Receive that. Build upon it. 

How I began in my mind and landed in my heart

Looking back, I see that attending the Institute of Audio Research and learning to record music was a decision that I made from listening to the mind.

The voices around me warned:

“You need a backup plan. Nobody makes money as a musician. What are you gonna do when it doesn’t work out?”

The mind’s logical response was:

“Well, if I can’t get what I really want…maybe being close to it will be good enough. Let’s just record music instead of making it.”

And that’s as close as the mind gets to understanding the heart. It weighs the logical pros and cons and comes up with an answer that makes sense. It says:

“Dagnabbit, that should be good enough! Stop all this ‘I want to be a guitar player’ nonsense and get on with it!”

And yet…

One of the reasons I loved wandering and wondering through my afternoons between classes was that Manhattan was the island of my birth. Despite the tar and concrete, there was earth underneath. The spirit of the island was right under my feet. 

I wanted to feel connection to the place where my soul incarnated. I felt that there was something important to hear, receive, and know in this place. I sensed that this kind of listening held answers about the meaning, purpose, and life I was seeking.

Unfortunately, I lacked a guide or mentor to help me make sense of the heart’s messages. It was all too easy for the mind to take charge, insisting: “You need a logical backup plan…”

As the Fates would have it, my mind’s plan lasted for about a year. Thereafter, “good enough” became so obviously inadequate and existentially painful that it was not. Not good enough. Not the solution.

The heart came up with its own vision, advising me to load my guitar into a $200 car dubbed “The Prayer” (because you prayed you’d make it to wherever you were going after climbing through the windows, since the doors were held shut by running seatbelts through the handles…not to mention the rusted-out floors, bald tires, bad brakes, etc.).

Together with two other heart listeners, I embarked on a cross-country journey to LA to turn heart dreams into reality.

That’s a story unto itself but for our purposes here illustrates the clear delineation between how life unfolds when listening to the mind…compared to listening to the heart. The outcomes are drastically different—both from an internal health perspective, and so far as the external, objective reality resulting from our choices.

Listening with the mind is not “bad”—in fact, it’s absolutely necessary when it comes to checking off life’s to-dos. But the heart cannot be—and will not accept being—another box to tick off that list.

One way or another—whether consciously or subconsciously—the call and longing of the heart will find its way into life sooner or later. I challenge and invite us to provide space for and acknowledge its gifts—including the medicine only it can deliver in our modern, mind-driven lives.

Going deeper

Have questions or thoughts? Looking for a skillful guide or wondering how to go deeper with heart listening?

Join me for a conversation in the comments or email me directly at: Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

Leave a comment

And if you’d like to go on a guided Medicine Journey or do a Shamanic wRites exercise, you’ll find them in the The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery Free Preview here. See you inside.

With Blessings,
Randal

3

The seventh of the seven principles in Huna, Hawaiian shamanism, entitled, “Pono.”

Click here or the pic above to watch this episode.

I provide two important answers to the question, “What makes shamanic writing different than responding to a regular writing prompt?”

Then, at the end of the episode, I guide you through a Shamanic wRites exercise. If you care to share how it went for you, send me what you’ve got! I’d love to hear about your journey.

Highlights

3:00 What’s the difference between shamanic writing and responding to a regular journaling prompt?

* Spirits are real.

* The Wall of Denial

* Inside of me vs. outside of me in non-ordinary reality

6:11 The shamanic provides separation

* Objectivity

* The Observer

* Perspective

7:05. The Wall in Non-ordinary reality

* But it’s not me.

* Separate from me and my identity

* 100 percent responsibility for its creation and ongoing existence

8:10 Merging with The Muse

* We have helping and compassionate spirits.

* These spirits want to help.

12:04 Morning Pages

* Permission to write authentically

16:40 New Perspectives = New Responsibilities

* It’s a two-way street working with spirit

* Integration

* Payback to the spirits

21:30 Medicine wRites: The Wall of Denial

* A complete guided Shamanic wRites exercise taken directly from The Program

* The Program’s Free Preview, including another Shamanic wRites exercise, as well as a Medicine Journey, videos, PDF, and other experiential material

You can find The Sober Shaman Podcast on Apple and Spotify, as well as watching it on YouTube from the link in the pic above. If you listen in, please take a moment to rate and review!

If you have thoughts or questions, feel free to reach out to me at: Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

With blessings,Randal

Get full access to The Sober Shaman at randallyons.substack.com/subscribe

When have you belonged to a community? Think back to your earliest ones—perhaps in elementary, middle, or high school. We often fall into those based on limited options and circumstances. But then…

Recall your first chosen community. Perhaps in college…or when you first left home and ventured out on your own.

• Who were the people in this community?

• What were their characteristics?

• What did this community provide that you hadn’t gotten from earlier ones? Or from your family?

• Or, perhaps, how did this community serve as a “replacement” for what you did get from your family after you left?

I spoke recently with Jane Claire Bradley about this subject for an upcoming episode of The Sober Shaman Podcast.

She described a time, in young adulthood, when she was living on a street with run-down buildings full of musicians, artists, witches, writers, and that ilk. Piled atop each other in close quarters and poor living conditions, they found community and created a haven.

Seeing a light on across the street—from any apartment and even at 3 a.m.—meant she could go out in her pjs and slippers, knock on their door, and connect on their steps over a cup of tea. Putting the world right for a while. Lingering until sunrise.

I get this, and I get this kind of community. For me, it fell into place and I fell into place around the same age. Leaving home. Driving cross country from NY to LA. Them and me—a pack of feral, long-haired, rock-n-roll knuckleheads.

Setting up camp in LA, we shared a house and made it home. We embraced a one-for-all and all-for-one knowing in the bones. The sort that you can only get if you’ve gotten it.

As in Jane’s case, our less-than-ideal living situation was easy to overlook amidst the gifts of living in community. These gifts were Medicine that overpowered unfavorable logistics.

So for You…

• What were the qualities of the people in your first chosen community?

• How was that and how were they Medicine—despite any less than ideal logistics, circumstances, or details?

• Did you lose that community? If so, was it by choice or against your will? Why? Then what?

Take a moment and reflect on anything lost. Have you managed to replace it?

Just for Today

One thing we can do—at any point in our lives and regardless of whether we have a supportive community in everyday, ordinary reality—is to find and receive the Medicine of connection and nurturance from our Community of Spirits.

These spirits—which exist in non-ordinary reality, or the realm of spirit—are waiting for us to join them.

Exactly who are these spirits? Depends. The spirits of your community might be:

• Ancestors—whether from your family or beyond

• Angels

• Saints or other religious figures

• Spirits of a place

• Animal spirits

• Spirits of Nature

• Mythological beings

…to name but a few.

Shamanic Journey to Your Spirit Community

If you’re game, I invite you to press play on the recording below—journeying to the sound of my voice and beat of my drum with the intention of connecting with your Spirit Community.

• Keep this intention in your awareness as you undertake the journey.

• You can allow the first audio below to guide you, as performed at and in the language of addiction treatment centres…or you can take the journey on your own, riding the solo beat of the second audio’s sonic drumming.

Either way:

1. Leave from your place in ordinary reality, whether at home or in Nature.

2. Call upon and meet your helping and compassionate spirits.

3. Follow them up through the barrier to the Upper World, down the tunnel to the Lower World, or into the Middle World—if that’s where you’re led.

4. Once there, repeat your intention to be brought to your Spirit Community.

5. Receive answers to the questions below.

6. When the drums change, this is your cue to come back. Thank everything you’ve seen and done and return the way you came.

7. When the drums change again and announce the end of the journey, send your thanks into the place you left from in ordinary reality, feel yourself fully in your body, give everything a little wiggle, and open your eyes.

Here’s the guided journey, as performed at inpatient addiction treatment centres:

Here’s the recording with just the drums:

On the Journey…

• Look around. What’s this place like? Who’s here?

• Settle in and breathe into it—what’s your feeling in this place?

Then, ask your helping and compassionate spirits:

• Who should I connect with here?

• What’s important for me to know about this community?

• How can this community help me at this time?

• What gifts can I bring to help support this community?

• What can I do back in ordinary reality to support this community?

• How can this community support me back in ordinary reality?

Integration & Application

Once the journey is complete and you’ve returned to ordinary reality, ask:

• Why is this important? Why is this relationship important?

• How does the information you received relate to life and Nature back in ordinary reality?

• How can you turn your gift to your Spirit Community into an ordinary reality ritual?

• How can you honor their gift to you as an ordinary reality ritual?

• How does all this relate to your life now? How can it be applied to specific difficulties, issues, and places of stagnation—supporting you in resolving them?

Now You

If you’d like to share what you received from your journey, please do in the comments. Also feel free to email me directly at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

And if you want more, the The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery makes use of guided journeys to reveal information related to addiction and health concerns.

Each of the 52 Lessons—one a week for an entire year—includes its own unique journey. Here are a few that relate to the support received from community:

• Mother & the Divine Feminine

• Communion: Through Her Eyes

• Inheritance

• Your Family Tree

• Ancestors: Your Chosen Lineage

You can go on another journey through the Free Preview with Lesson #8: How Did I Get This Way? While there, you can also check out other lessons in the Program. Hope to see you inside.

With All Good Medicine,
Randal

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .

The nuns put it right up there with Christmas. I was told I’d “become as one with God.” I readied myself for “transubstantiation.”

Along with being the biggest word I’d ever heard, it sounded awesome. I couldn’t wait to take my place in this mystical, miraculous ritual whereby the priest would transform a wafer of bread into the body of Christ.

Then, after all that preparation and anticipation, the day arrived. I played my part. I received the wafer on my tongue. And…

Bupkis. Nothing. Nada. No bells, no whistles, no firecrackers, and certainly no at-one-ness with any God I could see. Just my first religious ripoff. 

My disappointment that day left a scar, yes. But more than that, it left a longing for true communion. The one I’d somehow missed.

Years later, still searching for what was missing and still trying to quiet limiting beliefs and heal old wounds, I found a stand-in. I found communion in the form of addiction. 

Problem, of course, is that this communion was not with God nor with any other compassionate spirit. In addiction, I ended up with the kind of spirit that destroys us. The kind that consumes and extinguishes through a painful, predictable cycle.

Ritual & Communion

Given my Catholic beginnings, I understand well that the word “communion” is loaded. That’s exactly why I use it with clients when exploring and opening conversations about addiction.

Because communion (even if you’re not Catholic) implies something mystical and spiritual. It also suggests ritual. And ritual features prominently in addiction—whatever your drug of choice.

Specifically, the rituals performed before partaking in a drug of choice are patterned and powerful. They are preparation for communion—not only with the physical substance we’re addicted to, but also the anything-but-benevolent spirits along for the ride.

Now, these rituals may seem like going through the practical motions or steps involved in preparing to consume a drug of choice. But it’s more than that.

Done repeatedly, usually in the same way each time and always culminating in the Magic Moment before indulging, they acquire power. Not power that serves us or that works in our favor. Power that strengthens our communion with unhelpful patterns, dangerous spirits, and the hold they have over us and our lives.

For Example…

Cocaine: I chop, you choose.

• In this ritual, one member of the cocaine party is designated as “the one who chops.” They’re in charge of mashing larger rocks of cocaine into powder and dividing that powder into however many lines are needed to allow everyone to partake.

• Everyone else gets to choose their line first, before the one who chops. The chopper thus has a vested interest in making sure all the lines are the same (otherwise, they’ll be getting the short end of the stick).

• This creates a “ritual of chopping” around creating identical lines.

Heroin: My favorite…

• Ask a heroin user about their favorites—I guarantee you, they’ve got them. From the accoutrements of the needle, arm tie, spoon, and lighter…to their scheduled rotation of entry veins and mental calendar of when and how they are used.

Alcohol: Pre-game warmups

• With alcohol, the rituals vary but all feed the same ends and the same spirits.

• For some, it’s a Sunday afternoon sports bar promoting games on every screen and specials on pitchers of beer. Or happy hour and the mariachi band at a Mexican restaurant. Or the ambience, sophistication, and “class” involved with the swirling and smelling of wine. Or opening a bottle of wine while making dinner.

• If alcohol’s “your thing,” think about it. What rituals did or do you engage in before taking that first sip?

Gambling: “Good evening. Your usual table, Mr. Smith?”

• The ritual of casino life offers a perfect example here. Once inside, external distractions disappear along with our sense of time.

• There are no windows. There is no “last call.” Selective sensory deprivation pushes gamblers to focus on one thing and one thing only: the dinging of the machines, the voices of the croupiers from the blackjack table and roulette wheel, and the game in front of them.

• Ritual is everywhere. Addiction always wins.

These and all other addictions come with their own brand of powerful, predictable rituals. While the details vary, the purpose and effect is the same:

• They eliminate outside distraction, focus our attention and actions, and bring clarity to the inevitable next step.

• They herald and intensify the moment when we commune with our drug of choice (plus its nasty spirits).

Changing the Ritual, Communing with Different Spirits

So where to from here? How do we step out of those rituals and create ones that lead us to connect with kind spirits and healthier, more whole ways of being?

First, if you’re still in active addiction, take note of your pre-game line-up. 

• Notice your surrounds and the steps you take.

• See what happens when you bring the medicine of awareness into your usual rituals.

• See what happens when you interrupt the process. (Spoiler: The very act of awareness already changes things.)

Second, what new rituals and new spirits might support your life in recovery?

• No need to make this esoteric—keep it simple and remember what you love or always wanted to try or learn.

• What new, healthy activities could you weave into recovery? Pick one. Start there.

• It could be a religious or spiritual practice but doesn’t have to be. It could be an exercise class, a cooking class (or cooking at home, perhaps from your grandma’s recipe), a martial art with a group or in private, walks in Nature, etc. There are endless possibilities and no wrong ways to go about it so long as it’s supportive rather than feeding an addictive, harmful cycle.

Third, while preparing for and partaking in your new ritual and experiencing a new, more helpful communion:

• Make a list of your next steps related to this ritual, writing them out from A to Z.

• As you carry out those steps, bring awareness to what you’re doing.

• Make a clear intention to connect and a clear intention that this is medicine for your addiction.

• Make a clear intention as well to be open-hearted and open-minded with anyone you connect with in the process.

• And, make a clear boundary to keep out those who would detract from your new ritual and/or pull you back towards the unhelpful rituals of the past.

• Hold all of this in your heart and mind as you go through the steps of your new ritual.

• When finished, thank all you’ve seen and done and all who’ve supported you in the process. 

• Release the helping spirits with acknowledgement and gratitude.

• Leave a gift—such as by saying a kind word or paying it forward. 

When viewed through a shamanic lens, we are constantly performing rituals that connect us to spirit.

Through the above practice, we make the intentions that go into those rituals conscious. We source them from a place of healthy awareness instead of unconscious, reactive, and addictive patterns. 

Now You (or Your Loved Ones)

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction and communing with all manner of unhelpful, malevolent substances and spirits, I’m living proof that there is a way out. There is a way to regain what was lost and find what was originally promised.

NOT by doing the old, addictive rituals again and again. NOT by engaging in other rituals that may be meaningful for some but feel empty for us.

Rather, by following the above steps as a starting place. And, from there, communing with spirits, experiences, and ways of being that support us. Ones that help us truly connect and ones that help us heal.

If you want to support others on this path, consider gifting them a subscription to The Sober Shaman:

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And if they or you are ready for more, head here for a Free Preview of The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery.

As always, if you have questions or just want to share, please do in the comments. Also feel free to email me directly at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

With All Good Medicine,
Randal

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .

And, I invited you to experiment with shifting your thinking using a shamanic writing practice I call Shamanic wRites.

By shifting our thinking and invoking wisdom and guidance outside the realm of ordinary reality (or even just outside everyday habits, surrounds, and defaults), magical things happen.

New insights arise. Next steps become clear. All manner of seen and unseen forces start working on our behalf and in our favor.

This is true even if you don’t believe in shamanism. This is true even if you chalk the entire exercise up to guided meditation and visualization. Because…

• Addiction is a cycle.

• One aspect of that cycle lives in our thoughts.

• We can’t solve the problem of addiction while caught in the thoughts that created it.

• We can gain greater clarity, cultivate deeper knowing, and shine light on next steps by changing our thinking and turning towards something supportive, connecting, and original. (Because spoiler: Anything supportive, connecting, and original is the opposite of addiction—plus offers an antidote.)

If you missed that post or haven’t yet done the guided audio exercise to the sound of my voice and beat of my drum, head here:

I recommend doing that first, before continuing.

That way, my “answers” below won’t influence your experience. Plus, you’ll learn about shamanic merging, which will make what follows make sense.

Or, if you feel ready without the backstory, listen to the audio here:

Merging & Learning

Recall that in the Shamanic wRites exercise, you were guided to:

• Call upon and merge with your helping spirit in non-ordinary reality.

• Follow the “call back” to ordinary reality while remaining merged.

• Write in the merged state without thought, censoring, or editing.

• Release the merge, and read what you wrote.

Here’s the prompt you heard—now in written form—followed by what I got while merged and how I understand it.

The prompt…

What I got…

It is time to not be afraid
I am the Bones
I am the form
I am what holds you up, always
Have I ever let you fall into a puddle?
Have I ever stopped being solid for you?

I am truth
The truth that holds you up
Moves you through this world in strength
Your truth is your your strength

I am the concrete of the building of your Home
This body, this form
I am the trunk of the tree of your life
My branches reach out, solid
To the sun
From one truth to the next
You grow, move, receive, give, feed, be fed

Run! Feel my sturdy pulse hit the ground
Again, one truth—yours—meets another—the Earth
Move from this place, in this way
Do not be afraid
We, hold you, always.

What I understand…

This is my writing, my experience, and my medicine. No one needs to explain it to me, but I can share it—including parts I understand and those I’m practicing with and still figuring out.

I understand, through my experience, how the truth:

• Holds me up

• Forms me and my life

• Is the concrete—Bones—of my body

I feel this truth as knowing because of this writing. I can put it into practice a hundred times a day through conscious breathing from this place of truth, as well as conscious movement—which can be as simple as walking and sitting with better posture and a more aligned form, as learned from my training in Tai Chi.

I need to further examine:

• How my truth can be my strength

While I understand this, I feel there’s more for me to learn. I could do a shamanic Medicine Journey on this exact topic, going to my helping spirits and asking: “Please show me how my truth can be my strength.”

I need to put into practice:

• How my truth connects with other truths

• How to grow, move, receive, give, feed, and be fed

• Run! On this Earth

• Not being afraid

• Thinking and acting from Love, not Fear

As these truths were revealed to me through this writing practice, I now have the responsibility to do something with them.

One of the traps in recovery is to keep seeking new answers—even when we already have the answer. This often leads to turning away from the less shiny, more humbling, day-to-day, hands-in-the-dirt task of putting one foot in front of the other and doing the work.

That work is where integration lives. That work is where shamanic exercises alchemize into true, life-changing medicine.

Now You.

As a shamanic practitioner, I teach practices that work for anyone—including practices like Shamanic wRites that you can do on your own and don’t even have to call “shamanism.”

While these practices may seem simple, the medicine they offer is potent. The medicine they offer is a shift in perspective and a way out of old, familiar thinking, actions, and painful cycles on repeat.

Shamanic wRites supports this, as do other exercises in the The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery.

Have questions? Want to share any insights from your own experience of the exercise?

Feel free to share in the comments! Also feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com. I love connecting with those following along in this space, and would love to know a thing or two about you and your journey.

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who wrote most recently about anorexia recovery and social media addiction at ).

“We cannot solve problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”

Whether or not Albert Einstein actually said the above, it holds true for addiction:

• Addiction is a cycle.

• One aspect of that cycle lives in our thoughts.

• We can’t solve the problem of addiction while caught in the thoughts that created it.

No matter what your “drug of choice,” a hallmark of addiction is thinking non-stop about that substance or behavior.

Justifying it. Getting it. Consuming it. Doing it. Covering it up. Dealing with consequences. Replaying dread, guilt, or shame.

No matter where we are in the addictive cycle of planning, acquisition, partaking, and aftermath, the thought loop and fixation’s the same. You are unique. Addiction is painfully predictable.

And, if you’ve ever been caught in an addictive cycle, you probably know you can’t “think” your way out of it—at least not through the same thinking and thoughts that got you there.

Shamanism & Addiction

One benefit of weaving shamanism into my own recovery, my work with clients, and the online Sober Shaman's Path of Recovery is that it offers a new way of thinking—and a way out.

This isn’t something esoteric or scary. It’s not even something you need to “believe in” or have a shaman do for you.

As a shamanic practitioner, I offer and teach practices that work for anyone—including practices you can learn to do on your own. Including practices you don’t even have to call “shamanism.”

The magic of these practices is that they shift your thinking and perspective. This “new thinking” offers knowledge and insight. It also helps guide you towards stepping out of—and breaking—painful cycles on repeat.

We’re talking addiction here, but this also applies more widely. Indeed, one of the foundational components of shamanism is to “solve problems by changing our level of thinking.”

I practice Core Shamanism and developed Medicine wRites based on this premise.

Shamanic wRites

Shamanic wRites is a shamanic writing practice done to the sound of a drum, which you’ll hear me play in today’s audio.

In this practice, I guide myself or clients in various ways. One of those ways is, to use shamanic language, called merging.

Merging is…

• when a person who has entered a shamanic state of consciousness…

• has met their helping and compassionate spirit in the realms of non-ordinary reality, and then…

• takes this relationship a step further by merging with that spirit while, at the same time, remaining aware of their individual consciousness.

Whether or not you “believe” in merging is irrelevant. If it works better for you to call this “visualization,” that’s perfect.

When merged, one can (for example):

• See through their spirit’s eyes

• Feel what their spirit is feeling

• Use their spirit’s body to do what it does (e.g., If the spirit’s an eagle, you can experience soaring through the sky; if the spirit’s a dolphin, you can experience swimming through the ocean.)

In the merged state, a shaman is doing the flying or swimming, etc., but in non-ordinary rather than ordinary reality—meaning, you won’t see me spreading my wings and jumping off cliffs!

I’m keeping things simple here, but more advanced practices include healing others while in a merged state.

Meanwhile, Shamanic wRites makes merging accessible to anyone—no hardcore shamanic training required. Once merged, we return to ordinary reality to perform the writing.

Merge & Learn

Here’s an example to help you experience what I mean and how it works.

• Listen to this Shamanic wRites audio:

• Follow along as it guides you to call upon and merge with your helping spirit.

• Receive the prompt, return to ordinary reality, and write from this place. Put pen to paper, don’t stop, and don’t edit.

• When you hear the “call back,” that’s your cue to release the merge and send the spirit back to non-ordinary reality with your thanks.

• Read what you wrote. See what arises.

New Thinking = The Opposite of Addiction

In recovery, we’re often told what we “need to” or “should” do. Problem is, this often lands upon “the same level of thinking” creating and feeding the addiction. Bigger problem is, it doesn’t work!

Shamanic practices offer one way of changing our level of thinking…and acquiring new information, knowledge, and awareness.

This new thinking is the opposite of predictable and the opposite of addiction. It’s also known from a place of personal, felt experience—rather than being told you “should” or “need” to do something.

Then, back in ordinary reality, you get to integrate and act upon anything you discovered, learned, or even just asked.

Shamanic wRites supports this, as do other exercises and practices in the The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery.

Have questions? Want to share any insights from the above practice or hear how it went for me?

I’m happy to share but don’t want to influence your experience. I’ll be doing a follow-up next week to share what I wrote. If you don’t want to wait, email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

Also feel free to ask questions or share in the comments!

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who wrote most recently about alcohol and social media addiction at ).

“There is an ancient Chinese teaching that speaks of the Heart having seven magical orifices. These are not physical connections to the veins and arteries but rather metaphorical apertures that open up to reveal wonders of insight, health and understanding. They are called the Eyes of the Heart, and they are pathways of consciousness whose doors can be opened or closed depending upon one’s intention and experience. When these doors are open, one has the freedom to act with clear conscious awareness in the present moment, as opposed to when they are closed and one is chained to reaction from the repetitive programming of the past.”

From the Author’s Foreword to Opening the Eyes of the Heart (link to free sample chapter, Journey into Fire)

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I learned about this ancient medical model during my first semester of Traditional Chinese Medicine college back in the fall of 1993. Since that time, I’ve been deepening my knowledge of and experience with it, while applying its healing methods to my clients and patients. It’s a powerful and unique way of gathering information, knowledge and healing power that can be applied to any personal healthcare concern. Here’s a quick overview of exactly what the Eyes of the Heart are all about.

What are they?

One explanation for The Eyes of the Heart is that they provide an ancient pathway for a person to achieve “enlightenment.” Translating all that this infers into today’s language, this means that it improves every aspect of one’s health: mental, spiritual, emotional and physical, as well as transmitting this achieved health back into the society for the good of all.

Big stuff. 

And while they are not the physical pathways of the heart, they do correspond to our anatomical openings of perception:

• 2 ears - hearing - taking in sound

• 2 nostrils - smelling, breathing - taking in Qi from breath

• 2 eyes - seeing - taking in sight

• 1 mouth - tasting, taking in Qi from food

There are seven Eyes in total and they shape how we perceive all of the world’s information as it comes in, and then how we process this information as it relates to our own lives.

How do they work?

When the Eyes are open and clear, we can take in and receive through these seven orifices honestly and accurately. When they are closed, we do not accurately perceive things as they are, which causes disharmony and disease.

They close by degree, which can happen when we are injured in some way. For this reason, we feel that we cannot be open to take in completely because that means we’re also vulnerable for more of that brand of pain to come in, so we close off to protect. 

This is all normal but if this protection goes on longer than needed and becomes a pattern, then we’ve got problems. We are not perceiving and experiencing the world as it really is but rather re-acting in cycles of our past pain. This prevents us from growing and move forward, which causes all kinds of health issues.

How do we Open them?

In order to reverse this process of closing off and instead Open the Eyes of our Hearts, we need to get honest and clear about:

• Where we’re currently at - the present situation

• Why we closed off - the past

• What we have to do - the future

While this sounds pretty straightforward, there is a paradox of conflicting intentions occurring at the same time. Inside every one of us are both messages: one voice is telling us to close off for protection and the other is reminding us we need to open up for health. Dealing with this in a healthy way is one component of that definition of “enlightenment.”

In OEH, we have a method for reconciling this paradox and moving us along the pathway of enlightenment and that’s the shamanic journey.

The shamanic journey is a simple and structured method to gather information, experience and healing power. This is exactly the Medicine that is required to Open the Eyes of our Hearts and of course, it is not the only way of obtaining this Medicine, it’s just the one that has worked most effectively for me and what I have to provide my clients.

Why is this important?

“When these doors are open, one has the freedom to act with clear conscious awareness in the present moment, as opposed to when they are closed and one is chained to reaction from the repetitive programming of the past.”

Applying this quote to that word of enlightenment, it’s simply about, “Who’s in charge?” When we are clear and present, we are the ones in charge of our thoughts, feelings and actions, as opposed to the other way around when they are the boss of us - or as the saying goes, “The tail is wagging the dog.”

What conditions does this help with?

This is an empowering method for anyone to discover information, receive healing and to participate in any personal healthcare concern.

Here is a list of the Chinese Medicine’s Elements, which provides the map we use to apply this information to our modern-day health concerns:

Water:  fears, addiction, depression, secrets, inherited patterns, limiting core beliefs, sexuality

Wood: anger, frustration, cancer, stuck-ness, all planning - no action

Fire: no passion, anxiety, scattered-ness, relationships, ADHD, diabetes

Earth: worry, rumination, digestion, nourishment, lack of a deep feeling of home, insecurity

Metal: grief, loss, surrender, forgiveness, releasing the old and outdated, inability or lack of expression

How can I find out more?

Stay connected! I so look forward to sharing my experience, as well as the experience of others, who do this work. So, here’s some ways to keep the connection:

• I will be writing more on this under “Medicine Journeys” in my Directory of Posts 

• Sign up here and get the newsletter

• Collaborate as a professional

• Shoot me an message

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My Talisman: from my roadbag that accompanied me in ‘82 while hitchhiking coast to coast (hounddog-chewed corner from the bed of a rural Florida pickup ride)

In Part 1 of Talisman vs Symbol: The Power in the Pain, we said the primary difference between a talisman and a symbol is that a symbol is a separate item from whatever it represents while the talisman is an actual extension of that item and carries an inherent amount of that item within it. The difference we’re exploring is ones of separation vs connection - and this is a big point when dealing with the issue of addiction.

Also in Part 1, we provided examples of talismans that connected us to the power of our past pain. Here in Part 2, we’re creating talismans that connect us to the possibilities of the future and how we use them to pull ourselves into that manifestation through their help and guidance.

Connecting to the Possibilities

For most people, the power in the pain is much easier to feel and connect with than the future possibilities of prosperity and health. For example, holding the metal emblem from the hood of the totaled car is an easier pain-full connection to make than creating something that pulls us into a future of heart-full possibilities. 

For this reason, the talismans of Part 1 are easier to find and create. This means that here in Part 2, we are going to need a little help.  Specifically, from the heart - and more specifically from the heart’s longing for what it truly wants. This longing is what connects us to the forces that pull us in the right direction. Unfortunately in recovery, and especially in early recovery when we’re still so close to the past pain, we rarely know, much less feel, what our heart’s true longing is.

From the Disney movie series, “Pirates of the Caribbean” this is Captain Jack Sparrow’s compass, which always pointed to his Heart’s True Desire.

So where can we find this heartfelt connection that is going to pull us into this new, successful future?

The past.

Re-Membering:

For the vast majority of us, there are magical moments from childhood when we expressed our innocent, exuberant and authentic heart. These times may have been brief and may be hard to tap into now, but again for most of us, they are there. This innocence, exuberance and authenticity are exactly the forces that the longing heart wants to connect with. We must re-member these parts of ourselves and see where they can take us now moving forward.

“The opposite of addiction is connection” 

- Recovery Saying

• What items do you possess that have the power to re-member you? 

• That can re-connect you to a part of yourself that has been forgotten, lost or discarded?

• What are your symbols that can be turned into talismans?

• What are the items you still own, that you’ve held onto for some reason, that you feel hold this kind of power?

This is the power of re-membering - and here are examples of how to do exactly this.

Example #1

The Referee’s shirt & the Ball

Referees are a great example of separation and why it is necessary in the right circumstances. In any sport, the referee’s objective role is a distinctly separate one from a player’s very subjective role of participation. In order to have a fair contest, we need the referee to remain separate, impartial and unbiased. This is very important but the problem is that the referee can never win the game - you can only win if you’re participating - and this is the same in life. 

In this next example, participation is the win achieved through the actions of heartfelt, intentional engagement to connect.

Our client makes use of both a negative/painful and a positive/possibility talisman put together as one two-sided laminated picture. For the negative side, he applies the referee’s black and white striped shirt pattern to connect him to the past pain of not participating in the family. This took the form of making the excuse to work, whether true or not, so he could separate himself, isolate and go off to drink. From this place on the sidelines, it was easy for him to make judgements upon his partner, as well as justifying “having to work,” all of which just perpetuated his cycle of addiction. Empowered by these sober realizations, he created a talisman with one side showing the referee’s black and white striped shirt pattern - and on the other side is a picture of a baseball.

The baseball is our example of a talisman that pulls us into future heart-felt possibility. This particular baseball is one that our client got signed and handed to him by one of his idols at a spring training game when he was a boy.  And even though it was a pristine, signed professional ball, he naturally felt the difference when using it in his own games versus keeping the ball on the shelf as “a trophy” - which was the message many others told him - both adults and childhood friends who said he shouldn’t “soil the ball” because it will lose value.

For my client, this talisman’s power was clear. It connected him with the next right thing to do in his recovery: participate - not sit on the shelf or judge from the sidelines.

He carries this two-sided laminated picture with him at work as a reminder of his priorities, but even more powerful of a talisman is the actual ball. He still has it, soiled, banged up and the signature smudged, but it now provides him him a concrete, practical tool to employ in his recovery - and one that doesn’t require a whole lot of thought but rather the simple, heart-felt choice to put down the job, pick up the ball and play a game of catch with his son in the backyard.

What comes out of these games of father-son catch? 

Endless heart-full possibilities.

Example #2

Grandma’s Necklace

Back when I conducted groups at in-patient treatment centers, I would often say to the room, “I’ll bet there’s people in this circle that are still wearing, or specifically brought to treatment, a piece of jewelry - or some important small object - that was given to you by a family member.”

Inevitably, there was grandma’s necklace. And for this particular client, there was a familiar history carried within hers. This item jumped a generation, as it skipped ownership by the mother and landed directly from grandma to granddaughter, our client. This not only spoke to the disconnection that the mother had with both her daughter and her mother, the grandmother, but also the bond that was formed between grandma and our client. This was all made apparent through one of the wounds at the core of the granddaughter’s addiction: the all-too-common and unfortunate story of the mother choosing her new-boyfriend/step-father’s version of “the story of what happened” compared to the granddaughter’s tale of pain.

For our client, it was grandma who believed in her and did not buy into the mother’s spinning of the facts. Grandma knew the truth; she listened to the girl, saw the girl and validated the girl’s pain. 

The value of this is tremendous. Being seen, heard and known, especially when those closest to you have gaslit you and forced you to live a lie, is Big Medicine.

Photo by Ruan Richard Rodrigues on Unsplash

And that’s exactly what grandma’s necklace does for this client. It connects her with grandma and knowing that she is seen, heard and known to be the truthful person that she is. This also releases her from the secrets that are still kept and the lies that are still told within the living family, all of which perpetuate their own cycle of addiction.

Example #3:

The stuffed animal

This one will hit home for many of us, as it is pretty common to have had some version of a special friend in the form of a stuffed animal when we were little and full of possibility.

Why is the stuffed animal important as an adult?

Photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash

It connects us to our:

• Lost innocence

• Forgotten aspects of self

• Atrophied abilities of imagination

• Saying, “Yes” to possibility 

• Expression of authenticity

Important stuff in recovery. Important stuff in life.

Here are some other examples of talismans that can do the exact same thing for the exact same reasons:

• The present picked up on a family vacation as a child (Because there were good times before…XXX…even if I can’t clearly remember them.)

• A school report card from the X-grade before the sh*t hit the fan (I’m not stupid…I can do…I can achieve.)

• The Christmas tree ornament that was handed down through the family (I am connected to my family tree & I can pass down something good to my children.)

• The copy of the family Bible / Holy Book (There are parts of my childhood religion that aren’t all bad & I can re-connect with a Spirit to help me today.)

• A tool from your father’s workbench.( He did try to connect with me in the only manner he knew.)

• A utensil from your mother’s cooking kitchen. (She did try to nurture me in the only manner she knew.)

• The scrapbook of pics, etc…from the attic..(There were good times with my family….)

Blog Caboose:

Both symbols and talismans offer us important tools to use on the path of addiction recovery.  Especially when we recognize that they are different and have distinctly different languages and medicines. As I spoke about in Part 1, I am glad that we have the incredible breath of work that psychology offers us with regard to symbols and how to use them, and I am also glad that I feel such a strong pull towards exploring the not-as-talked-about power of the talisman. 

Symbols speak to the head

Talismans speak from the heart.

Symbols are markers on the path to meaning.

Talismans are power keeping us on the path.

Symbols are guides along the way.

Talismans are fuel that keep us going along the way.

Symbols make sense and point us in the right direction.

Talismans feel right and pull us in the right direction - even when it doesn’t make sense

Symbols tell us where to go.

Talismans help us get there.

Symbols tell us what to do.

Talismans help us do it.

Symbols help us understand why we’re doing it.

Talismans connect us to the heartfelt feelings that are why we’re doing it.

With Blessings,

Randal

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