They want to know, “What will it do for me?”

There are certain perspectives that viewing life through a spiritual lens can provide, which can be used to one’s advantage. But first, we need to confront the baggage carried into the present. For many of us:

The problem is that we’ve been conditioned to believe what spirituality should be, rather than discovering for ourselves what it can be.

Join me as we explore some of the wonders that spiritual medicine can offer. Listen to the audio here:

I’d love to hear your feedback—leave a comment or send me your questions. And don’t forget to hit the little ♥️—your support is always appreciated!

Leave a comment

With Blessings,
Randal

Whether this is an internal battle or a conversation between two people, organizations, or businesses, the either-or, win-lose setup stretches our stress muscles.

We all get this and instinctively know we’ve got to honor—or at least hear out—both sides of the argument.

But let’s face it, when the head hears one-liners like:

• Follow your bliss.

• Listen to your heart.

• Chase your passion.

• Do what you love.

It cringes.

And when the heart is corralled and led down chutes of:

• Just the facts, please.

• Follow the science.

• Listen to the logic.

• Do the next thing on the list.

It shrivels.

So, how do these two forces within us reconcile with each other?

Join us as we explore this question—be it for your recovery, personal relationships, or even your business and career. We cover…

A Push-Pull Problem with a Yin-Yang Answer:

• Science wants control.

• Spirit wants surrender.

These feel very different:

• The mind pushes.

• The heart is pulled.

Transformation:

• Surrender becomes listening.

• Control becomes personal responsibility.

Tune in to the podcast episode here:

As always, leave any questions or comments below, hit that little ♥️, and until next time…

With Blessings,
Randal

Leave a comment

“Is something missing? It feels like something is missing.”

This inner gnawing arises and persists despite the many effective therapies and modern approaches that carried us this far. We keep doing all the usual “next right things” and they continue to deliver all of the usual next right results, but they don’t speak to this voice emanating from the Void and telling us we’re not quite getting all of it.

So, what exactly is missing? 

A spiritual solution.

There’s no chemical solution to a spiritual problem.

This is a popular recovery saying that speaks to the fact that taking a pill will not fix concerns of the spirit.

I agree—and take it further.

There’s no thought-based solution to a spiritual problem.

We can’t think our way into fixing concerns of the spirit.

So, if we can’t use a pill or think our way into arriving at this spiritual solution, how exactly do we go about doing it? What exactly does this look like?

Let’s get more complicated before we make it very, very simple.

We don’t need a middleman to access the divine.

In order to begin our search for the spiritual solution, we must first address an elephant-in-the-room-sized issue. This is the issue of our beliefs.

In the West, many believe that we do not have the ability, or the right, to establish and maintain a direct relationship with our helping and compassionate spirits.

Centuries of religious persecution have told us that engaging in direct revelation with spirit is wrong, bad, weird, or impossible. 

With spirit replaced by science and “true facts,” it’s no wonder our “spirit muscle” has been ignored and left to atrophy.

Then, “experts” tell us we need them as intermediaries, standing between us and the divine to safely deliver and accurately interpret “the information,” so we aren’t led astray.

This is a lie.

Every one of us has the inherent human ability, and birthright, to receive knowledge, information, and healing power from our compassionate and helping spirits.

So, how do we go against the tide of false messaging and receive these benefits as a spiritual solution to our addiction?

I believe every one of us has the right and the ability to do exactly this.

When you embark on this path, you learn how to:

• Hear what speaks to your heart

• Feel what touches your soul

• Understand what resides in your bones

It’s that simple. Simple, but not easy—because it goes against what we’ve been programmed to believe. Years of Catholic schooling left grooves on my psyche, and mainstream society’s derogatory, dismissive terms for those I admired who encouraged trusting oneself created confusion. But when I chose sobriety, I also chose to trust my spiritual beliefs.

Because of this, I can say with some certainty, that the answer is not out there somewhere, so stop searching. We already possess the solution, so start trusting.

Where do we begin? At the beginning.

The following is a parable that speaks to this truth. Its exact origins are unknown, as many traditions, religions, and beliefs have versions pointing to the same essential wisdom.

It goes something like this…

Kicking it with the angels

In the beginning, when God was finished creating the universe, they were kicking it with their angels and had an idea.

God said, “You know, I’d like to show myself to the people but I want to make it challenging and rewarding. I think I’ll hide myself and make them work for it. Hey angels, where do you think a good hiding spot would be?”

Angel 1 suggested, “We could bury you deep within the earth.”

God thought for a minute, then replied, “No, I don’t think that’ll do. It won’t be long before they dig up all the treasures I’ve got in there and soon enough, they’ll get to me too.”

Angel 2 said, “Hey, we could put you on the moon.”

God thought about this one for a minute and said, “Not bad Number 2 but sooner or later those pesky people will fly up there and make it look too easy. We’ve got to make it just a bit more difficult.”

This caused a long silence with no other options coming from the angels.

Then, from the rear, Angel 13 cried out, “I’ve got it. Why don’t we hide you within their own heart. They’ll never look there!”

“Brilliant!” God exclaimed. “That’s the perfect hiding place.”

And so, there we have it, God is hiding within each of our hearts. And they will stay hidden until we’re ready to acknowledge this truth and take our courageous adventure to this place deep within.

To do so, we must first go through broken-heartedness.

A Shamanic Journey to Your Broken Heart

The method I use to access the realm of spirit is known as the shamanic journey. It’s a simple yet profound method that is learned, practiced, and personally mastered. It appears throughout history, is on every continent, and each culture has its own particular ways of achieving success.

With a little training, this method can become a path that opens the spiritual realms to just about anyone.1

I adapted this approach for clients at addiction treatment centers. Given participants’ diverse beliefs and each center’s unique focus, I clarified that one could engage from an atheist or psychological perspective. For those approaching it as a spiritual journey, I emphasized that this non-denominational method can actually deepen one’s existing religious beliefs.

Below, you’ll find an audio for this guided Journey to Your Broken Heart.2

If you desire, go ahead and undertake the journey for yourself or offer it to a client. I’ve included a list of post-journey questions, which I recommend answering immediately upon your return.

The Journey to Your Broken Heart

PDF with Post-Journey Questions (pp. 16-19)

Lesson 8 How Did I Get This Way Blue Compressed

1.44MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

I’ve done this journey with thousands of clients through the years and I’ve never gotten the same broken heart twice.

Yet our broken-heartedness manifests in strikingly similar ways. Our human responses to pain follow predictable patterns, often planting the seeds that lead to and perpetuate the cycle of addiction.3

Trusting our heart, soul, and bones

The shamanic journey is one way of accessing the realm of spirit. It allows us to request the support of our helping spirits, venture into the “hiding places of God,” and return from our explorations with experiential wisdom. No one can give this to us, and no one can take it away.

It can only come from our personal and direct relationship with the divine.

From this place of connection, we learn to trust what is inherently known in our heart, soul, and bones and apply these spiritual solutions to our recovery.

With Blessings,
Randal

I know. I listened to plenty of professionals and experts who told me what I should, needed, and had to do.

And yet, something was missing.

For me back then (more than 30 years ago now), as well as for many of my clients, “what’s missing” is the spiritual component. I’m not talking about some woo-woo ambiguity or a thou-shalt-not-do-these-things list. I’m talking about a feeling deep within—a knowing that resonates as rock-solid truth. This is what we need to acknowledge, listen to, and understand.

This is what needs to be trusted.

When we do this, it gives us access to, and the ability to receive benefits from, the realm of spirit.

This is exactly what we do here at The Sober Shaman. We make the spiritual practical. We follow a detailed map of the path ahead, leading step-by-step through every exercise. You arrive back from your journey with the information, knowledge, and healing power that applies to your personal situation. 

Free subscribers to newsletter receive automatic access to two foundational courses: The Guide & The Program. Just click the button below to sign up, and you’ll receive the links in the Welcome email.

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Podcast / Audio

For a deep dive into why we should “Stop Searching, Start Trusting,” listen to the latest episode of The Sober Shaman Podcast here:

If you’re already a subscriber

I appreciate you! and to make things easier, I’ve put direct links to the two courses below:

The Guide

The Sober Shaman’s Guide to the Shamanic Journey provides an introduction to the shamanic journey and step-by-step instructions for undertaking a journey on your own.

The Program

The Program is a year-long, 52-lesson course jam-packed with a variety of ways to stay interested in and actively engaged with ongoing sobriety.

If you’re already on my mailing list

• You may be a long-time subscriber (maybe even 20 years now!)

• You may be brand new

…again, I just want to say thank you. And provide the above links for easy access.

If you’re a current client

…thanks for your continued trust and hard work, and these links should make it easier for us to access when we need it, too. 

If you’re a professional

…and have clients who could benefit from this approach, please forward it on. The work sparks interest, can keep them engaged between your sessions, and offers new ways of approaching challenges when they get stuck. 

And if you’re considering becoming a subscriber

…you can look forward to receiving these kinds of resources on a regular basis. Just sign up here: 

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With Blessings,
Randal

This one is all about feeling. And just like the feelings that drove us during active addiction, the ones that arise from digging into the roots of investigative recovery can be overwhelming.

Because when a feeling overtakes us and we follow like a lemming, it can lead us right off the cliff.

The flip side also has drawbacks because when we control the feeling following a path of logical structure and/or medicative numbness, we can end up in a suspended state of safety that turns into a life of flatness.

How do we reconcile this?

Before we look for an answer, let’s make things even more complicated…

“Randy, why am I on more drugs coming out of treatment than when I went in?”

When I led groups in treatment centers, I asked people to raise their hands and keep them up if they answered, “Yes,” to any of the following:

Since entering treatment, have you been diagnosed with and prescribed medication for:

• Depression?

• Anxiety?

• ADHD?

• Other?

Every single person had at least one hand raised, and the majority had both up—along with raising a foot or two.

That’s a lot of feelings, a lot of diagnosing, and a whole lot of treatment. So, it’s common for someone to ask, “How am I going to learn to deal with my feelings if I’m loaded up with prescription drugs?"

That’s a darn good question. One that requires answers from professional and ethical standpoints, and which are delivered by those legally and ethically allowed to do so. 

So, for our purposes here, I’m investigating this question from a spiritual standpoint and providing this perspective to the only other person who’s legally, ethically, and morally allowed to change their prescription: the client.

To simplify things and give us a place to begin our conversation, here’s what I call The Graph of Expression:

Key:

#1 - Black Zone: The socially acceptable and proper range of expression

#2 - Blue Zone: Depression

#3 - Red Zone: Anxiety

#4 - Brown Zone: Apathy

Here’s some detail:

The Black Zone is what greases the wheels of polite society and says:

• Thank you.

• Excuse me.

• Yes, please.

• No, thank you.

• My fault.

• No worries.

The Red Zone is where the fast feelings live, which can be described as:

• Up

• Riding the lightning

• Downloading inspiration

• In the flow

• “I wanna go fast!” ~Ricky Bobby

• Yes! Woohoo!

Heading down into the Blue Zone, we find the slow feelings, which can be described as:

• Bummed

• “I ain’t got no motivation.”

• Depressed 

• I’m moving slow today.

• Why should I go? What’s the point?

• No. I just don’t feel like it.

Staying in the Brown Zone, which is a compressed version of the Black Zone’s social norms, can look like:

• “Oh well, I never really liked that cat anyway.”

• “Which restaurant? I don’t care.”

• “Oh yeah. I guess I just forgot.”

• “Whatever.”

• “I don’t know…”

• “I don’t feel strongly either way…”

The Graph of Expression is a simple, visual map of the range of human feelings and provides a place to begin our exploration about where we’re at and where we’d like to go.

Once we’ve identified which zone is ours, what happens if we don’t like where we’re at and want to go about changing things?

Generally speaking, there are two ways to answer this question:

• From the the inside: “I will find and develop the necessary skills and tools to deal with my feelings in healthy ways.”

Or…

• From the outside: “I can’t do this, so I’ll just take a pill and eliminate the problem.”

Boom! Now, we’re staring straight down the point offered by the title for this post because:

You can’t reclaim your power from spirit and relinquish your power to an expert at the same time.

Here’s what it looks like when someone uses a pill to hand over their power. To be clear, I’m not saying that using a pill automatically hands over your power. More on this a little later.

“Randy, if there’s a pill to fix my feelings-situation, I don’t understand why using a pill to do it relinquishes my power?”

Because if you do “find the answer” by way of the pill, the problem is that you’re:

1. Handing your power over to the pill

2. Handing your power over to the expert

3. Handing your power over to your limiting core belief

Let’s look at each of these, investigating how using a pill hands over your power.

Problem 1: Using the pill relinquishes your power to the pill.

You’re dependent on an outside agent, the pill, which decreases or eliminates incentive for internal development. 

When this happens, it removes your ability to find, develop, and maintain what it takes to deal with, or in some cases even visit, a feeling.

This ability is a foundational requirement of most personal and spiritual practices. So, in this case, a pill replaces practice.

The medicine from a pill cannot deliver the rewards that the medicine from a practice does.

The medicine of practice bestows rewards that cannot be given and cannot be taken away. They can only be earned.

This kind of spiritual practice is one step along the path to reclaiming your power. It is a path of internal development, healthy improvements, and eventual mastery.

Problem 2: Using the pill relinquishes your power to the expert.

“Fix me,” whether spoken or implied, is the phrase that relinquishes your power to the expert.

“I’m here to fix you,” whether spoken or implied, is the phrase that your expert imposes on you to validate that relinquishment of power.

The “fix me” intention is a spell that you and your expert both believe in. It is what keeps your power flowing to the expert.

This flow of power happens only in one direction: from you to your chosen expert.

Right relationship with your prescribing physician is an equal partnership that is built upon mutual respect, input, and scientific curiosity. 

When you have this, it breaks any previous spells of disempowerment and dependence, which had you believing in the expert’s castings of how you would be fixed by them.

Problem 3: Using the pill relinquishes your power to your limiting core beliefs.

From a spiritual perspective, limiting core beliefs are the doorway you send your power through to the receiving ”spirit of inability.” 

Whether you view this receiving agent as a spirit, or an archetype, or even a bank account of energy, the point is that the Universe has a repository where you power is placed. As is the Yin Yang nature of things, your power is then sent back in equal measure and as validation for your belief lying at the core of addiction.

This limiting core belief, which forms itself into some kind of “I am” statement, fills in the blank with your particular brand of not-enough-ness. 

For example, “I am weak, so I need the pill.”

The pill reinforces the belief at the core of your addiction that right here, right now, you’re not good enough as is. You need something to deal with the feeling.

Handing over your power to the belief that you’re not enough and need something is an act of substitution. You’ve swapped out your drug or action of choice for the legally prescribed medication. 

Unfortunately, this validates your need for an outside agent that disempowers you and empowers the limiting core belief.

Your power is redirected to feed the spirit of inability, which then perpetuates the Cycle of Addiction.

Breaking this cycle begins by recognizing and acknowledging the power that your limiting core belief holds. Then, the next step is to stop feeding it with even more power. “If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.”

Empowered or disempowered?

Look, I don’t believe that medications are bad. They hold potential to be a useful tool in recovery.

I am not “anti-medication.” But I am “anti-disempowerment.”

The people I work with want to reclaim their power, passion, and purpose. But, again, right relationship with your prescribing physician is an equal partnership built upon mutual respect, input, and scientific curiosity.

There should be a clear plan that answers all of the, “What if” questions, and this holds true whether one is exploring going on or coming off medication.

Nothing replaces the power of professional support when you feel like you are truly heard, seen, and understood. From this place, successful and spiritually empowered recovery has a firm foundation upon which to build.

You can listen to this episode on the podcast here…

…or watch it from the video at the top of the page.

As always, please feel free to reach out with any questions you have and leave a comment below.

Leave a comment

Blessings,
Randal

Losing my religion—everybody’s doing it.

When I ask people in recovery about their spiritual beliefs, many say they’re atheist, agnostic, or “spiritual but not religious.” Many go on to explain that they’ve rejected the religion of their youth and aren’t going back.

I get it. It makes total sense.

I grew up Catholic and have plenty of reasons not to go back.

Also, it’s also easy to:

• Reject the religion of your youth because there’s so much corruption, abuse of power, bloody history, sexual impropriety, and colonization of Indigenous peoples—along with the extermination of their cultures.

• Point to the imbalanced, patriarchal nature of both the mythology and man-made church structures.

• Ask: “How can a religion or God that has caused so much trauma be the One to help take care of my own trauma and help me in recovery?”

• Admit that believing in—much less talking about God—makes us sound so woo that (at least in certain circles), we’ll lose credibility.

• Throw away the God of your youth because everyone else is doing it.

But when we do this, what else gets tossed overboard? Could some of these things be important—especially for recovery?

You need what you’ve lost.

“So Randy, I’ve rejected the religion of my youth and am glad I’ve tossed it. What’s wrong with that?” a client might ask.

Here are three possibilities—things I’ve seen others lose in tossing the religion of their youth.

1. Structure

First, structure is lost. Religion has a lot of structure, which shows up as rules, requirements, and all kinds of things to do and not do. When you reject everything, you’re left with nothing. You’re starting from scratch.

So yes, you’ve wiped the slate clean and you’re totally free, but the problem could be that there’s too much freedom. There’s no structure.

For example:

• Who’s your God? 

• What’s your origin myth?

• What are your goals?

• Who do you meet with to join in Community and share your stories?

• What are your clear rules? (Ones akin to Judaism’s Ten Commandments)

• What are your clear starting points? (Ones akin to Buddhism’s Four Noble Truths)

• What are your clear rituals of connection? (Ones akin to Christianity’s Seven Sacraments)

Religion answers these questions with time-tested, well-defined structures, rules, guideposts, guides, community gatherings, sacred places, calendars with holidays, stories with meaning, etc.—all of which provide clear direction and proven results when you participate.

Meanwhile, people who are “spiritual but not religious” and searching for these answers have the option to dabble. I’ve seen this a lot: the ol’ “sampling at the spiritual buffet.” The problem is that when you take a few steps on all of the paths, you kind of just go in a circle. Your results stay shallow, superficial, and safe. You’re missing depth, which is how others—those who stick to one path—infuse meaning, purpose, direction, and inspiration into their lives. 

Sticking to one path also provides real-life guides when you need help on the physical plane. These others have traversed the same ground before you. They know the difficulties you face, ways to deal with them, and how to provide a hand up and over your obstacle.

Good stuff, right? And important stuff for people at any stage of recovery—all the more so at the beginning, when we’re searching for the path that will be right for us.

2. The Full Range of Human Experience

The second possibility is that you could be cutting off one-fourth of the human experience. Our life is made up of mental, spiritual, emotional and physical aspects. By leaving out the spiritual, you’re not accessing or utilizing the gifts from one-fourth of your total potential! This is the potential to be free, happy, and successful in recovery—as well as in life.

Wouldn’t we want to take advantage of all of the available tools, techniques, and talents when tackling a situation like addiction?

Chances are, there’s some spiritual approach, technique, or story that points to, reveals, or makes sense of a universal truth that could help with whatever blockage you’re facing.

I find that it’s a matter of finding the language that fits your belief system. We shouldn’t be forced to adopt a specific religion or to use the “correct” label for God. 

Spirituality needs to be practical. When it is, it can deliver medicine in the form of experience—and that changes everything.

3. Help

Another thing that may be lost when you toss the religion of your youth is help. 

Spiritually speaking, now that you’ve declined the help of the spirits from that religion:

• Who are your helping and compassionate spirits?

• From whom are you going to receive spiritual help and support? 

• What will this look like?

• How will do you do it?

How many times has spirit, God, your ancestors, helping spirits, etc., been knocking on the door of your awareness, trying to get your attention and attempting to offer compassionate assistance to provide you with the exact answer to your plea for help…

…only to be met by your response of: “No thanks, you don’t exist. That’s just woo. I threw away belief in you along with the religion of my youth”?

It’s a much different experience to feel like you’ve got access to:

1. Structure

2. The full range of human experience

3. Help and support

…instead of feeling like you’ve lost them.

Getting Them Back

Shamanism, Christ, and Recovery

When I was five years old, I spent a Christmas Eve lying in front of and staring at the wooden, hand-painted, generations-old figurines that made up the manger scene under the family tree.

There was something familiar about it. I knew this person. In my heart, soul, and bones, I knew His message.

Later, when attending Catholic school from third through twelfth grade, reading and learning about the New Testament felt like filling in details of a story I already knew.

That remains true to this day. And while I currently practice Core Shamanism, I have no internal conflict reconciling Christ with these earth-based, “pagan” tenets.  I did have problems speaking about my ease of integration to others—especially to those Christians who judge my approach, as it appears from the outside like I have definitely rejected the religion of my youth.

There’s truth to my rejection, as I do not attend modern mass or Church gatherings. In such settings, I have a hard time separating out the wheat from the chaff—taking what I need and leaving the rest. 

I still get triggered—a lot. So, it’s better for me to toss that.

At the same time, I deeply love the spirit of the sacraments, the sacred times of the year and various holy places of this faith, and speaking to open-minded and open-hearted clergy—ones who recognize the resonance of similarity between our beliefs, as opposed to adhering to the doctrines of separation.

The point is that, in early recovery, I understood and felt my connection with spirit and knew unequivocally that this was what would get and keep me clean and sober.

Let’s face it: not many medical professionals would suggest following a path of shamanism and personal Catholicism (plus, throw in Traditional Chinese Medicine!) as a way to get and stay clean and sober.

But that was absolutely the right recipe for me. And, from there, I still had to…

Adhere to structures:

• This meant leaving the personal training I was receiving from Wang Yu and entering the learning models of university, which required passing state and national board exams and obtaining licensure that allowed me to practice and legally treat others with Traditional Chinese Medicine.

• Choose a training in shamanism that provided clear methods, practices, and results—ones that I could immediately and seamlessly apply to my recovery.

Embrace the full range of expression:

• My problem wasn’t with acknowledging and utilizing the spiritual—rather, I put too much emphasis on that aspect. I needed to recognize how I was ignoring and/or underutilizing the mental and emotional aspects.

• My challenge was (and still is!) integrating how the spiritual healing of this work translates into practical, everyday methods and how to explain this into plain English to others.

Listen for Help:

• I had to learn how to receive help from spirit in new and powerful ways, many of which I could not have previously imagined.1

• I had to learn how to receive help from teachers in physical, ordinary reality—ones who have my best interests in mind.

This last point is important because, when we reject the religion of our youth, it usually has nothing to do with the heart and spirit of that faith. It’s usually about the people who represented it to us.

If this is true for you, it offers an entry for exploring why you rejected the religion of your youth and what else might have been lost. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to get some of those things back.

Your turn.

I’d love to hear how all this landed and where you are when it comes to these questions.

• Have you rejected the religion of your youth?

• What else went along with it?

• Is there anything that you’d like to regain?

Please share any and all insights and comments that speak to your experience (no unsolicited advice, please). We are all learning, evolving, and depending upon each other.

With Blessings,
Randal

You can listen to additional commentary, where I travel a bit further down a few interesting paths, from the material of this post on The Sober Shaman Podcast Episode #16 here:

Or watch it on YouTube here:

P.S. Check this out: Losing My Religion by R.E.M. - The Story Behind the Song.

This is an awesome interview with the band. I particularly loved listening to lead singer Michael Stipe speak about recording the song in one take, almost naked, after kicking everyone out except for the recording engineer—who was aggravating Michael with his boredom.

But then, when I did the work and actually surrendered...

I came out the other side feeling like I’d won.

• How does this work?

• What changes?

• How can shamanism help make this happen?

Welcome to this edition of The Practice, where we go a little deeper into a Lesson from The Program. This week, we dig into Lesson 18: The Power of Surrender and explore how Surrender transforms losing into winning.

Below, you’ll find a brief introduction, followed by a video and podcast that dig deeper.

4 Assumptions About Surrender

The idea of Surrender carries a bunch of assumptions, so when someone in recovery is told that they’ll need to do this, of course some things immediately come to mind. Here are a few we’ll look at today:

• Surrender = losing. 

• There’s some kind of conflict.

• I’m losing to the “Other” in the conflict.

• I must be weaker than the Other.

A Bit Deeper

Losing:

• We assume that we’re losing to the addiction but not so…

Conflict:

• We assume that it’s me vs. the addiction but, in this case, not so…

The Other:

• Addiction is not the Other that we’re Surrendering to.

Weakness:

• It’s a lie: this whole thing is a set-up…

The Flip & The Fix

Surrender does imply a loss…

• but here, Surrender means release and letting go.

There is a conflict…

• but here, it’s not with who you think it is.

There is an Other…

• but here, the Other is your own will.

That will ain’t weak…

• so this is what needs to soften, release, and Surrender.

Paradox: The Magic

Surrender occurs when someone admits that the way they’ve been doing things isn’t working.

This is a moment of magic because it breaks the cycle. It creates an invitation for something other than one’s own will to take over.

We’re not alone in this—and shamanism sends this invitation directly to our helping and compassionate spirits.

We go through the entire contents of this week’s Dig in the video and podcast below.

Watch here:

Listen here:

Now you.

• What’s your relationship with surrender?

• How has it shifted in recovery?

I’d love for you to share in comments and also welcome you to reach out by email: spirit@randallyons.com

With Blessings,
Randal

But what if this is a spell? What can we do to break it?

Addiction is a spell.

Now, you may think that a spell is made up rather than real. However, when we believe in something—even a lie—we give it power. We allow it to cast a spell over us.

The spell becomes real when we believe the lie and make it so. Let’s break this down:

1. Addiction is a spell.

In this context, I define a spell as a set of critical self-beliefs that we tell ourselves repeatedly.

• These beliefs tell us that right here, right now, we are damaged and/or not enough in some way.

• We hear these beliefs in the form of “I am” statements.

• For example: “I am (fill in the blank with how I am not enough or damaged).” Common ones include: “I am a loser, weak, stupid, unlovable, or worthless.”

• This statement is the spell.

2. This spell is a lie and not real.

• We didn’t enter this world with critical self-beliefs or thinking we were damaged and not enough.

• Beliefs form in response to experience.

• Our internal beliefs often come from outside influences and forces.

• But there was a time before that outside imposition. There was a time when we could have brushed them off as a lie or laughed at them as a joke.

• They weren’t real. They held no power.

3. The spell becomes real when we believe the lie and make it so. 

• What happens to make us believe we are damaged and not enough?

• I call it TAHL: trauma, abuse, heartbreak, and loss. 

• This covers the range of experiences that can flip our beliefs. In the wake of such experiences, we no longer believe that the world is safe or that we are good enough.

• When TAHL happens, everything changes. We were one way before, and another way after—never to be the same again.

TAHL happens to all of us, so that’s not necessarily the problem. The problem comes when: 

• TAHL is not digested and expressed so it sticks to us.

• These experiences become part of our identity and part of the story we use to define ourselves.

• This is a problem because now we view the critical “I am” statement as true. We come to believe its lie.

• We then go out and participate in active addiction, which provides evidence “proving” the lie of our critical self-beliefs.

When we believe and participate in the lie, we turn it into reality. That’s the only way addiction can exist and the only way the spell of addiction can work.

Why do only some people believe the lie and fall under this spell?

There are far more people who are under this spell than not. So, why aren’t we all addicts? Well…aren’t we though? It depends on your definition of addiction.

If we widen our scope of “using,” how would you describe your relationship to the spell of:

• Social media (versus actual, real-life connection)

• Busywork (versus the development of mastery)

• Consuming (versus nourishing body, mind, and soul)

• Success (versus happiness)

How to break the spell of addiction

For now, let’s keep things simple by sticking to more conventional ideas of addiction and focusing on abuse of a harmful substance or action.

How do we break this spell? Well, we need to:

• Become aware of it.

• Stop participating in it.

• Change the beliefs that cause us to fall under its power.

1. Become aware of it.

We need awareness of the spell, as our belief in the lie, which manifests as the entire pattern of addiction from beginning to end (and around and around).

We need awareness that the original lie arose after TAHL. We weren’t always this way. We must also accept that there’s no going back; our choice is to move forward.

And now, things are different. We see it for what it is and realize we have a different choice.

Only through awareness that we’re on the hellish merry-go-round of addiction can we choose to step off it.

2.  Stop participating in it.

Only by admitting we succumbed to the spell and participated in its perpetuation can we choose to end it…but we must choose. We must make the choice to get off the ride. 

This means taking responsibility for:

• Believing the lie 

• Our participation in making the lie real

Only then can we choose to reclaim our power and participate in dismantling all of this. This is simple but not easy. It requires work and commitment.

3. Change the beliefs that cause us to fall under its power.

See the lie for what it is.

• Identify your “I am” statements and the spell they carry.

• Disconnect “I” from the damage and deficit.

• Disconnect “I” from “a loser, weak, stupid, unlovable, worthless, etc.”

Recognize how belief in the lie and our participation make it real. In doing this, we relinquish our power to the spell of addiction.

For example, if “I am a loser” is the lie, the only reason it becomes real is because I actively create and participate in the cycle of addiction to make it so.

My belief that “I am a loser” causes me to participate in the following cycle:

• Planning: Come up with a plan to make myself feel better—my default will involve using my drug of choice.

• Acquisition: Go through all of the necessary steps to acquire the substances and create the environment to use them.

• Using: The rituals of using differ depending upon the drug. Maybe yours involves cutting lines of cocaine, pouring wine into your favorite glass before dinner, or sitting down with a tub of ice cream and cueing up Netflix.

• Covering up: The aftermath involves guilt, shame, and facing the consequences (which are painfully obvious).

• Results for everyone to see: “Wow. What a loser.”

Awareness that our belief in the spell leads to our participation in making it a reality offers an opportunity to do something different. Seeing what plays out—what always plays out—is an invitation to stop participating and stop providing evidence that the belief is true.

From there comes awareness that “I” am in charge of my actions and choices moving forward. “I” am no longer inextricably intertwined with the critical self-belief. 

From this place, we can choose other options that will establish, validate, and strengthen new, affirming beliefs moving forward. 

We break the spell. We step out of active addiction. We restore our sovereignty.

Now you.

Well? Are you under the spell of addiction? What “I am” statement do you need to release in order to break it?

Leave a comment

And if you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction and looking for one-on-one support, reach out to me here: spirit@randallyons.com

Also check out The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery, an online program for helping you break the spell of addiction once and for all. Access your Free Preview here.

If you’d like more, the companion podcast episode takes a deep-dive into the details and provides specific examples of Breaking the Spell of Addiction. Find the audio and video here:

Maybe I’m idealistic, but I see wanting to help others as part of human nature. If we’ve overcome something hard—including something as hard as addiction—it’s natural to think: What worked for me can work for you. Let me show you how it’s done.

This holds true no matter what “the thing that worked for me” is. Whether we’re talking about a 12-Step program, a path grounded in hard science, or a spiritual practice, one’s belief—backed by the proof of personal experience—anchors “the truth” of recovery in place.

On the other side of this equation, we find the person still in the grips of active, downward-spiraling addiction. Their belief is that going against that gravitational pull is overwhelming or impossible. Their experience is one of a self-perpetuating, painful cycle and the potential “failure” of relapse. Standing in their shoes, no other path feels doable or possible.

The “helper” in recovery who’s already been through it gets to then throw them a rope—tossing it down into the deep, dark well of addiction to offer the person at the bottom a way up and out. To work, this Rope of Hope must be both practical and inspirational. 

The Method, the Map, the Practice

The rope that I offer clients is exactly that. It weaves together a method, a map, and a practice. 

The method supplies “the how.” It tells the client: “Here’s exactly what you can do. It’s what many others, including myself, have used to do the next right thing in recovery.”

The map supplies “the way.” It tells the client: “You’re not alone. Here’s the way that many others, including myself, have taken to pull themselves up and out of the depths of that deep, dark well.” 

The practice supplies “the connection.” It tells the client: “You are empowered with the necessary support from many others, including myself, who are pulling you up from the other end. We’ve achieved long-term success in sobriety, and we’ve got you.”

For me, these three essential components look like this:

• The method is the shamanic journey.

• This follows the map of the natural cycles of Nature and the laws of science, which reveal the patterned and repetitive cycle of addiction.

• Putting that into practice will change your relationships to those closest to you, as well as your relationship to spirit, Nature, yourself, and the expression of Heart you bring to work, family, society, and all other areas.

Keep It Simple: Three Principles

Because addiction often presents as mysterious and overwhelming, I like to keep things simple. 

I want simple answers for myself, and I want to provide simple, practical answers to others. To do so and to explain, understand, and treat addiction, I ground my work in Three Principles:

• Principle 1: Addiction affects the whole person—mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical.

• Principle 2: Addiction is a cycle.

• Principle 3: Addiction impacts every relationship.

We can assign these principles to the method, the map, and the practice as follows.

The Method / Principle 1: Addiction affects the whole person—mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical.

By applying the method of the shamanic journey, a person can explore how addiction has affected every aspect of their person: mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical.

This is important because each aspect of the whole person has its own language and, correspondingly, its own medicine. While this is universal for everyone—regardless of race, culture, socio-economic background, or drug of choice—it’s also highly personal in how one relates to, expresses, and utilizes their relationship to these four aspects.

In other words, addiction is predictable, but you are unique.

Respecting this adage, which is one of those paradoxes where both are true at once, I apply another motto:

Make the spiritual practical.

This work cannot be entirely conceptual or based solely on faith. 

To tackle something like addiction—which entails “the work” of going inward, engaging in introspection, uncovering hidden truths, and dealing with buried traumas—we need to address every aspect of the whole person and apply all four medicines.

Following the chart’s downward flow from the mental to the physical, we move through the other three medicines. We need:

• New experience: Whatever we were shown, given, or told to do during the journey when in the realms of non-ordinary reality, we must bring this into our daily lives. This makes the conceptual tangible.

• New connections: By removing the “slippery people, places, and things” that perpetuate the cycle of addiction and promote relapse, we can make new connections to those who reflect and support the new awareness, as well as others who walk this path.

• New practices: The journey will reveal next steps. Implement them in everyday, ordinary reality and anchor them through daily rituals. This could be morning prayer, physical movement classes, Zoom support groups, etc. Whatever medicine was revealed to you, “chop wood, carry water.” Then do it again. And again.

A Map / Principle 2: Addiction is a cycle.

Because addiction is a cycle, it’s predictable. It follows the same universal patterns that rise and fall, are born and die, and perpetuate themselves as future repeating forms.

There really are no surprises. While this feels like—and is—a trap when one is caught in the grips of an addictive cycle, it also gives us the advantage. We know exactly:

• Where you are currently in the cycle (the present) 

• How and why you got there (the past) 

• What’s going to happen next (the future)

We’ve got the map. And again, it’s no mystery and there are no real surprises. As a person who’s gone around the cycle of addiction literally thousands of times, we’ll easily relate to it when presented with an objective vantage point (rather than being tossed around from inside like a sock in a washer’s spin cycle).

This map has been around for 5,000 years in the form of the Five Element cycle. We also find other iterations, as evidenced by ancient, astronomically aligned structures showing exactly where we are at exactly what time.

The beauty is that addiction is no different. We can use the map to take very specific journeys to yield very specific information. We can then apply very specific medicines at just the right time in just the right ways—leveraging our strengths and breaking the addictive cycle once and for all.

For a visual, here’s one version of the map:

If you’d like to see how we walk step-by-step through this map and view a complete list of the 52 journeys that cover an entire year’s worth of support, head to the Free Preview here.

A Practice / Principle 3: Addiction impacts every relationship.

In recovery, we spend lots of time and energy examining the relationships we have with our family of origin and our closest partners, friends, and loved ones. This is important, needed, and can be supported through the shamanic journey.

And yet, focusing on interpersonal relationships alone is too narrow a path. For long-term success and sustainable recovery, we need to widen the lens to include our other relationships.

Because our sense of self—or our belief and adherence to our current identity—gets so damaged and warped in addiction, this changes how we interact with everything.

It follows that we need to address everything closest to us—not only our closest personal relationships. For instance:

• Where do I find meaning and purpose?

• How do I apply my true gifts?

• How can I get quiet and listen to my own rhythms and how they interface with Nature?

• What’s my relationship to food?

• What’s my relationship to my body and movement?

• What’s my relationship to sexuality?

• What’s my relationship to creativity?

• What’s my expression of everything above and everything else that I’m in relationship with?

These questions don’t have one-and-done answers. Even though we may receive the mental awareness, acquire spiritual experience, and connect with nourishing and supportive others during a shamanic journey, we still need to “do the work” and do it day in, day out.

This is a practice and requires putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing as shown, shared, and given to us by spirit. And, we need to do it despite “not feeling like it” (or any other excuse). 

With great power comes great responsibility.

We know what to do, we know the way forward, and we have the ability and support to do it. We have the method, the map, and the practice.

Now you.

Have questions or thoughts? Wondering where and how to get started?

Join me for a conversation in the comments or email me directly at: Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

If you’d like to go on a Medicine Drum Journey or do a Shamanic wRites exercise, you’ll find these Step-by-Step Guides on the Homepage. See you inside.

With All Good Medicine,
Randal

First thing’s first. What’s a shaman anyway? And what the heck are we up to?

A shaman is someone who’s in relationship with spirits and can employ them on behalf of an individual or community to help solve problems here in ordinary reality.

The shaman engages with these spirits through the shamanic journey. This is a means of gathering information, knowledge, and power while in partnership with the spirits. The shaman then returns with these gifts to use for our benefit. 

Traditionally, the shaman was an essential component of society. Their role was to maintain a healthy relationship between the activities of a culture and the natural world around them. This interdependence and ongoing conversation was considered a vital part of society’s day-to-day endeavors and how it stayed healthy.  

Why should you learn to journey?

Somewhere along the path to modernization, we’ve silenced this conversation and lost touch with this interdependence. We divested the shaman of their societal role. We relegated our innate abilities to hear the messages and receive knowledge, information, and healing power from spirit to “authorities” (who tell us that they know better).

Many people today are experiencing a void due to this disconnect from spirit and Nature. In response, many are also seeking to fill that void with the only thing that fits: one’s own ability to engage in and receive direct revelation from spirit—without an intermediary and without censorship.

Today, we’ll explore how the shamanic journey is one way of doing exactly that and how we can apply what we receive to healing—specifically in addiction recovery and trauma resolution.

We’ll address the following:

• What is this journey?

• Where do we go?

• How do we get there?

• Exactly what spirits do we meet?

• How does this help with recovery from addiction and resolution of trauma?

Let’s take these one by one.

What is this journey?

Shamans have existed on every continent and in all ancient cultures. While the methods they use to journey vary, all involve a change in consciousness. 

Some such methods include:

• Rhythm and music (African dance)

• Repetitive movement (Sufi spinning)

• Ingestion of mind-altering substances (Elysian mysteries, psychedelic renaissance) 

• Dreaming (Iroquois and Australian Aboriginals) 

• Breathing techniques (Yogic, Holotropic)

• Deprivation (such as of sleep, food, shelter, and/or personal contact—as in The Vision Quest)

Many of the same methods take other forms and names in today’s world. Participants report experiences similar to those of the shaman, whether or not that was their original intention and whether or not they received specific guidance.

For our purposes (which take legality, simplicity, and effectiveness into account), we’ll be focusing on how to achieve this state of altered consciousness by using a steady, monotonous drumbeat.1 

Because this method is not as physically invasive and involuntarily forceful as many of the others, it does require some learned abilities. Through this method, we are participants riding the line between watching things unfold and actively employing the guiding instructions.

To achieve this monotonous drumbeat, we can bang on our own drum and enter into trance, or we can use a recorded drum track while we lie down, cover our eyes, and put on headphones. 

Once we have these logistics in place, we can employ the guiding instructions, which you’ll find below. But first…

Where do we go?

Using the term made popular by the author Carlos Casteneda through his works on The Teachings of Don Juan, where we go is called “non-ordinary reality.” This is the place of spirit, which is separated from our “ordinary reality” by a veil that keeps the two separate. 

Once we pass through this veil and enter the realm of spirit, what we find is that there is amazing congruency among ancient cultures around the geographical layout of this realm. 

Generally, it is divided into three parts:

• The Upperworld

• The Middleworld

• The Lowerworld

One of the most common “maps” laying out the territory of these three regions of non-ordinary reality is seen in The Tree of Life. 

We find this imagery in the traditions of the Norse as Yggdrasil and the Celtic people as Crann Bethadh. We also find it in Egypt and throughout the Middle East, as well as throughout the African continent.

Each culture has their own name for it. But, whatever we call it, this Tree of Life has branches reaching up into the Upperworld, roots digging down into the Lowerworld, and a trunk growing in this Middleworld. 

Meanwhile, the Chinese call them: Heaven, Person, and Earth. Going up, in the direction and with energy of Yang, into the cosmos of the Upperworld. Going down, in the direction and with the energy of Yin, into the Earth’s Lowerworld. And here we are, as a Person, existing in the Middleworld—harmonizing the Yin-Yang forces of existence.

We can understand a bit more about these worlds through the tales of modern storytellers. Taking a trip to the Upperworld, we pass through the veil of clouds in Jack and the Beanstalk. Going down into the Earth through the tunnel of the rabbit hole, we discover fantastic places of the Lowerworld in The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland. And dreaming for twenty years, we are transported through time and the Middleworld in Rip Van Winkle. 

Whether we’re going up to the Upperworld, down into the Lowerworld, or out into the Middleworld, there are two main points:

• First, we are not alone. We are following the shamans who have ventured into these realms since our earliest beginnings. These places are known, and there is trusted help waiting for us there in the form of our compassionate spirits. 

• Second, we are entering into another reality—one that is just as real as the one we reside in here. Like those dreams we have, which upon waking “feel even more real than reality,” this non-ordinary reality abides by different rules and has different inhabitants and relationships.

The shamanic journey is the vehicle that propels us through the veil and into the three worlds of non-ordinary reality.

We’ll cover how to do this next. First, we need a place to venture out from. This should be a place in Nature in ordinary reality that you know and that you have good, deep feelings about. Also one that you can bring into your mind’s eye clearly and in detail. 

Do that now.

• For a trip to the Lowerworld, choose an opening into the Earth, such as a cave, animal hole, or tunnel made by tree roots. The requirement here is that you can see the opening clearly but do not know where this opening ends up. 

• For a trip to the Upperworld, you can follow the path upward provided by large trees or smoke from a chimney or campfire. 

• For any of these, and especially for a Middleworld journey, make sure your ordinary reality place is one of safety, grounding, and even a sense of Home.

Close your eyes and bring yourself into this place. See it in all of its colors, then bring in the other senses of smell (e.g., What season is it? Spring smells different than fall.), feeling (e.g., Feel with your mind’s eye the ground upon which you stand and the sun on your face.), hearing (e.g., wind, water), and possibly even “tasting the air.” 

Make note of these. You’re working your senses in ways that are probably new—they’re like muscles that need to be flexed in order to get stronger. Opening your senses in these ways prepares you to receive the information of your journey and grounds you into your ordinary reality starting place. 

Now that you’ve got these down, we can go through the step-by-step process of how to undertake the shamanic journey.

How do we get there?

Generally speaking, the steps of shamanic journeying go something like this:

1. Setup: Find a quiet place to lie down with your back on the floor, making sure you’re comfortable but not so relaxed that you’ll fall asleep. You want to maintain strong focus during the journey and do not want to doze off. Many journeyers designate a particular blanket for this specific purpose. (Note: If you have any physical concerns that would limit your ability to perform this—or any of these requirements—don’t attempt anything beyond your normal range of comfort. The journeying process can be adapted so that anyone can undertake it.) 

2. Focus: Turn off any phones, alarms, buzzers, etc., that could possibly interrupt your journey. Have your equipment and/or materials that you will use to record your journey close by. 

3. Lights: Lower all lighting to the point of necessity. This should be a level that allows you to safely turn the lights back on when you’re finished. You may also wish to cover your eyes while journeying to prevent seeing any light, which may prove distracting. A bandana, eye mask, shirtsleeve, piece of cloth, or your arm can work. 

4. Drums: Once you’re situated in your space and have completed the above steps, start the drumming audio track (you can use the free one available in The Sober Shaman’s Medicine Bag or one of your own that keeps a pace of about 200 beats per minute). Other instruments, such as the rattle, didjeridu, bell, or chimes may also be used, but we generally suggest starting with drums. 

5. Starting Place: Your visualization will start with your place in ordinary reality. Again, this is somewhere in Nature that you’re familiar with and have good feelings or memories around. It can be from your childhood or an opening you saw this morning. (For a Lowerworld journey, just make sure you don’t know where the hole eventually opens to or ends up.) To begin, bring the place into your mind’s eye with as much clarity and using as many senses as possible. For example: What season is it? What time of day? What’s the temperature? What’s the weather like? 

6. Intention: State your purpose for journeying aloud, and send it three times with strong intention into the direction you’re traveling. For example: “I am journeying to the Lowerworld to meet my guiding spirit. I am journeying to the Lowerworld to meet my guiding spirit. I am journeying to the Lowerworld to meet my guiding spirit.” 

7. Go: Begin your journey by going up, down, or out. For example, if going to the Lowerworld, enter into the opening and visualize a tunnel that leads down into the earth. Go through this tunnel while keeping your senses open. Is it damp or dry? Is it rocky or soft dirt?

8. Through: Eventually you’ll pass through the veil. Whether like clouds into the Upperworld, or the tunnel down into the Lowerworld, or out of your physical body and into the Middleworld, you’ll open up into a landscape of non-ordinary reality.

9. Emerge: Emerge from the clouds or tunnel and enter into the realms of non-ordinary reality. It may appear as a landscape from ordinary reality or may look completely different. Summer beaches made of winter snow, barren deserts in the middle of tropical islands, an undersea medieval golf course, etc. In this reality, the possibilities are limitless! 

10. Calling: Call for and send out with a strong intention the desire to be met by your guiding spirit. It will come. It may be in the form of an animal, a human, an angel, or any combination thereof. When it does, make and maintain as much eye contact as possible. As spirits approach you in this world, be sure to address and treat them with the courtesy and respect you’d like to receive yourself. Ask them questions as you would any new acquaintance, and be sure to establish that they are indeed your guiding spirits. If they are or are not, they will tell you through words, actions, feelings, or perhaps some other way. Find out how communication is performed here. This is a new and particular “muscle” that must be trained to become effective in this world. If you do not meet a guiding spirit, keep sending out your intention. You can also ask spirits that you meet but which are not your guides to take you to one that is. Keep trying. Eventually our guides show up. They want to help as much as we want help. 

11. Moving: You will discover how to travel in this world of non-ordinary reality. Go with your guiding spirit, and do the things that are necessary in order to carry out the specific purpose you came for. Travel will be another new “muscle” that’s revealed and trained.

12. Return: After a set amount of time (often between 5 and 15 minutes; sometimes longer if preferred), the drummer or recording in ordinary reality will issue a “callback.” This is a break in the pattern and a change of speed in the drumbeat. During this time, stop whatever you’re doing in non-ordinary reality and tell whomever you’re with that it’s time for you to return to ordinary reality. Thank all that you’ve seen, met, and done as you come back the same way you went along your journey. This will include everything in the non-ordinary reality landscape—back up the tunnel or down through the clouds or back into your energetic field, and finally, back into your body waiting in the ordinary reality place in Nature from where you started.

13. Back in Ordinary Reality: Upon return from callback, the drums will cease and you’ll feel yourself fully back in your physical body. Take your time. Sit up slowly and proceed to record the journey using whatever means you decided beforehand. Some prefer writing in a journal, while others prefer talking into a recorder. Experiment to see which is best for you.

14. Share: You may wish to share the events of the journey with your partner, other journeyers, or a shamanic counselor.

And that’s it! How to get there, do the work, and come back with the knowledge, information, and power we require for the tasks and healing we need to do in ordinary reality.

Next, let’s take a look at who is providing this help.

Exactly what spirits do you meet?

You will meet your helping and compassionate spirits. There are two primary reasons for this:

• First, this is the clear and focused intention that you’re sending ahead of you, before embarking on the journey.

• Second, these spirits want to help and are awaiting your call.

It’s like puzzle pieces fitting together: You send a call for help with Yang energy through the veil. It’s received and answered by spirits in non-ordinary reality, where they hold the Yin energy of healing information, knowledge, and power.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

—Lao Tzu 

“You can’t always get what you want. But sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

—The Rolling Stones

What form your helping and compassionate spirits take is often a surprise. This is a good thing.

Generally speaking, we all hold heroic fantasies of being in partnership with “the big spirits” and may desire to be met in non-ordinary reality by a dragon, bear, or Merlin…only to end up with a salamander, shrew, or hobbled old ancestor. 

Don’t judge. Treat your new spirit with respect, and honor their answering of your call. We have no idea what they may offer us.

Upon first meeting a spirit ask:

“Are you my helping and compassionate spirit?”

Often, the true nature of a spirit isn’t revealed until we make this direct inquiry.

From here, move through the following:

1. What’s your first impression? Is there an overwhelming sense of love and connection? Is there trepidation and hesitancy? Is it yours or theirs?

2. Can you look directly into their eyes? This is the “standard” way to make connection. Then, view it from three different angles; in each, look into their eyes. What’s it like to see the spirit in this way? What’s it like to be seen by the spirit in this way?

3. How do you communicate? Words? Actions? Feelings? Focused thoughts? A deep knowing?

Listening to the answers you receive and paying attention to how they’re transmitted may be the first part of your learning.

Working in the shamanic realms often requires expanding our perspective, which in turn expands our abilities, which may then be the next parts and necessary components for healing and growth.

How does taking a shamanic journey help with recovery from addiction and resolution of trauma?

I’ll answer this question in two ways: First, with a traditional response. Second, with what I’ve discovered through my own recovery and in working with clients.

Traditionally, there are a number of healing events that can occur during the shamanic journey, and these can appear in a variety of forms. Common themes include flight and travel to other worlds, merging to become as-one-with your spirit, dismemberment or obliteration of “your form,” seeing through your spirit’s eyes, becoming one-with-all-things, and many others.

If your trusted helping and compassionate spirits invite you to participate in any of the above, you should follow their lead. The spirits know.

These actions involve healing through three basic means:

• Power Retrieval

• Soul Retrieval 

• Removal of Intrusions

And they correspondingly are the medicines for the three basic shamanic pathologies:

• Power Loss

• Soul Loss

• Spiritual Intrusion

All of these can be powerful and essential parts of your recovery, growth, and healing. They can occur spontaneously during a journey, or they can be planned using specific intention, preparation, and ritual. 

These are traditional shamanic ways that have helped many recover from addiction and resolve trauma. And while this is not an either-or scenario (indeed, any of the traditional ways of healing may occur during what I’ll share next), I’ve found it useful to guide the journeys so that they provide more immediate, tangible answers to an individual’s questions and situation. That way, we can explain any information received in plain English and the individual can more readily integrate it.

In my own process and work with clients, this means…

• More specific questions get more specific answers.

While traditional shamanic healings are time-tested in myriad cultures across every continent, the work that I’ve dedicated myself to—and what I’ve found essential in my own recovery and that of my clients—is to take shamanic journeys to specific places in non-ordinary reality led by very specific intentions.

I’ve found that more specific questions yield more specific answers. And when we have this kind of information, we can more easily understand how to apply it when life presents opportunities to do so—because these moments are the precise points in the cycle of addiction when we must leverage our new awareness and employ the power to change.

• Natural patterns offer an invitation and opportunity.

Shamanic cultures living in conversation with spirit derived great wisdom from observing the cyclical patterns of Nature. Whether we’re considering the seasons, stars, movements of animals, or growth of plants, certain events and patterns cycle and repeat through time.

This provides a tremendous opportunity to learn and apply the same wisdom to the problem of addiction. In other words:

By studying these patterns, we have a clear and reliable map of how addiction unfolds and can see and understand the way trauma informs its creation.

Following this map, we can pinpoint the places of opportunity—meaning, where we can leverage our strengths and break the cycle once and for all.

The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery

I call my rendering and practice of this map The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery.

It follows Three Principles, which are how I explain and lay out the timeless pattern of addiction and the universal truths underlying it. In condensed form, it goes like this…

Addiction recovery follows three basic principles:

1. Addiction affects the whole person.

2. Addiction is a cycle.

3. Addiction impacts every relationship.

Principle 1: Addiction affects the whole person.

Addiction affects our mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical aspects. Thus, we can use the information, knowledge, and power gained during shamanic journeys and apply it to heal every aspect of the whole person.

Principle 2: Addiction is a cycle.

As a participant in the cycle, we know firsthand how an addiction perpetuates and keeps itself alive—from the deep, underlying beliefs rooted in trauma and lying at the core…to the machinations of mental planning for relief…to the frantic acts of acquisition…to the communal rituals of using…to the inevitable lying and covering up—which then validate the original core beliefs and plant the seeds for addiction’s next go-round.

Seeing this through the spiritual eyes and experiential knowing of shamanic journeying provides us with insights and shows us where our cycle of addiction is weakest and where we can break it once and for all. 

Principle 3: Addiction impacts every relationship.

Employing the spiritual conversation to our most intimate relationships causes the entire dance and dynamic of that relationship to change—not only with our closest partners, but also with our intimate relationships to society, career, Nature, and spirit.

These Three Principles guide the way through the rocky terrain of recovery from addiction and healing from trauma.

This is by no means the only map—just the one that I’ve created while on my own journey and while helping others.

And, it’s not finished. This map—like the landscape of recovery—is always growing and evolving as we learn to speak new languages and incorporate new approaches. 

That’s one of the beauties of using universal principles and timeless truths: There will always be new ways of seeing and interpreting “the truth” and applying it to those who need it during our current time.

That’s exactly what the shamanic journey—and your ongoing conversation with spirit—can help you with as you grow, heal, and travel along your own path in recovery.

Now you.

Have questions or thoughts? Wondering where and how to get started?

Join me for a conversation in the comments or email me directly at: Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

If you’d like to go on a guided Medicine Journey or do a Shamanic wRites exercise, you’ll find them in the The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery Free Preview here. See you inside.

With All Good Medicine,
Randal

“It’s like I’m recovering pieces of myself that I had put away—that I lost—when I was in that relationship.”

This is what a client (let’s call her Sage) said to me recently, following the breakup of her four-year relationship.

In shamanism, these “pieces of self” are valuable, tangible, and real parts of the soul. They carry our vital essence and contain fundamental characteristics of our personality.

When we “put them away,” they are no longer available. This is called soul loss.

And it is a loss—sometimes obvious, sometimes subtle. These parts separate from ourselves—from our awareness and from our place of access—and take their power with them. This power contains the vitality within that essence, as well as any abilities associated with our “lost” characteristics.

“Looking back now, I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be myself and that I had to make myself smaller.”

Sage only became aware of what was lost when she had space to experience life outside of the relationship.

Similar to her recovery from alcohol abuse, she couldn’t sense what was lost while still participating in the cycle of addiction.

The ending of the relationship was like early sobriety. It offered distance from the force that caused Sage to lose those pieces. Once the “blockage” (in the form of her partner and the relationship) was removed, these soul parts began returning. They brought their power and their gifts.

Sage’s story is not unique. It’s common in recovery and common generally. One way or another, we all do it.

The Bag We Drag Behind Us

Robert Bly’s seminal work, A Little Book on the Human Shadow, is one of the few books I still own and is the most succinct and articulate description of what happens.1

Although Bly doesn’t call it soul loss, he uses the language of energy instead of power. He bridges into psychology’s concept of “the shadow,” but the mechanism is the same. 

Bly begins by talking about the exuberant energy of a child—which appears as a complete sphere at once emanating from and engulfing our younger selves. We are whole, intact, and ready to meet the world. 

But early on, we receive messages from our parents, such as: “Can’t you be still?” Or: “It isn’t nice to try and kill your brother.”

Because our parents don’t particularly like these aspects of us, we put them in an invisible bag we drag behind us. We make a silent agreement to sacrifice these parts in exchange for our parents’ love and attention.

Bly explains that as we grow up and start school, our teachers prompt us to put more of our parts in this bag. By high school, we are active participants—loading up the bag in exchange for acceptance by peers. As he puts it:

“We spend our life until we’re twenty deciding what parts of ourself to put into the bag, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again.”

Indeed.

And, this provides a visual, poetic metaphor for how we become willing participants in relinquishing our power—engaging in this trade-off and losing a soul part.

This is a very different brand of soul loss than the sort most commonly referenced in traditional shamanism. In that more traditional scenario, the soul part is forced to leave as a survival mechanism in the face of trauma.

In a future post, we’ll explore those trauma-response situations and how they manifest in addiction.

But for now, in Part 1, know that the impact of “self-as-participant” can be just as devastating. The dynamic is subtler and harder to catch since we are the ones relinquishing our own power, our own essence, our own souls.

Back to Sage

“Thinking back to some situations, I can’t believe how jealous he was and how easily triggered he could get.”2

Sage’s partner was insecure, especially in situations involving her ex-husband. This showed up at her kids’ high school sporting events—where she, her new partner, and her ex were in attendance. 

“I would have to walk around on eggshells at these games. God forbid if I hugged my ex or let him know how thankful I was for whatever simple errand he had done for me.”

To avoid unpleasantries, Sage made the decision to put that gregarious and genuinely loving piece of herself neatly in the bag dragging behind her.

“It just made things easier. I wouldn’t have to deal with his jealousy, which usually escalated into an all-night fight,” Sage said.

Sound familiar?

Are there soul parts dragging in the bag behind you that “just make things easier”?

In relationships, we all do this to some extent. Where things get ugly is when the decision is final. We put those parts into the bag never to be seen or heard from again.

“It doesn’t matter how much we talk about it or analyze it, this jealously wound of his doesn’t change. And he’s not willing to go into it further.”

Yup. That’s a sign that the bag(s)—both hers and his—are cinched pretty tight.

So, she made a decision:

“If he doesn’t change, then I guess I’m the one who has to. It’s just easier to put on a smiling face and act.”

Sage, like many of us, believed this would keep the peace.

This is true—it does. That is, until “the act” doesn’t work anymore and what’s in the bag starts to stir.

A Doctor’s Take: Attachment vs. Authenticity 

I listened to a podcast recently with Dr. Gabor Maté, who spoke about this same mechanism using the language of modern medicine and psychology.

In that conversation, he explained that we have two primal needs, and they are especially true when we are young: One is attachment; the other is authenticity.

In his words:

“Ideally, the two are not in conflict. Ideally, you can be in a relationship or I can be in a relationship where we can be ourselves and be accepted and be connected with.

But what happens to your life when you’re a young child and you’re authentic and you’re not accepted? So, for example, some psychologists recommend that children should be punished for their anger. Rather than to be understood as to what it’s all about, and the child being taught different ways to express it, they’re just to be punished for it. 

[And now with us in the role of parent], you punish them. You give them the message that you’re not acceptable to me when you’re angry, you have to be a certain way for me to accept you.

Or, you mustn’t be sad. Cheer up. What’s wrong with you?

When children are given this message of conditionality, that you are acceptable to me only if you behave in ways that I approve of—otherwise the attachment relationship is threatened—then the child is faced with this choice, which isn’t a choice at all: Do I stay attached to my parents?”

He goes on to explain:

“If my father is an alcoholic and the only way that I can find acceptance is by repressing my emotions and not showing my sadness and my fear, do I show my sadness and my anger and my fear or do I threaten the relationship?”

Well, there’s no choice at all. The child will choose the attachment.

Bingo. 

We, as children, learn early on to “choose the attachment” over expressing our own authenticity—when, as Gabor says, “It’s really no choice at all.”

The problem is that in order to receive this attachment, we must keep our side of the bargain. We must lose pieces of our soul, in the form of our authenticity. The magic and power of those pieces is then lost to us, relegated to our bag of shadows.

Fast forward to those children as adults, when they meet other adults, and guess what? Those other adults are just as weary from dragging their bags behind them.

How much authenticity is left to offer one another?

How much “need for attachment” still remains?

This is one of the formulas that determine a marriage.

When the Honeymoon Is Over

Here’s the quick of it:

• No one can fill the hole that the lost piece of soul left behind.

• No one can replace the piece that we’ve put in the bag.

• Despite this, we desperately try to get our partners to do those very things.

This in mind, the way out is as simple (but not easy) as: Stop pounding the square pegs of our partners into the round holes of our soul’s vacancies. From there, we must make new choices:

• I can see my choices that caused soul loss.

• I understand the natural process of how and why I put those pieces in the bag behind me.

• Only when I learn to do this for myself will I be more available and more authentic—for myself and the relationship.

This is what “cleaning up my side of the street” looks like. Only from this place can we more fully, compassionately, and authentically show up for our partner or meet a new parter tending to their own side of the street.

This form of treatment is all about returning those lost pieces of soul to our current lives. When we do, we get an initiatory infusion of life.

In Sage’s words:

“I just went to my son’s basketball game, and it was like I was 15 pounds lighter. I drove another mother and her son to the game, hugged my ex, and said hello to other parents I’d avoided for the past four years. I felt free. I felt real.”

And while this is great, we now have awareness around it. It now becomes our responsibility.

The return of these soul parts usually isn’t one-and-done. It requires a new brand of work—often called “integration.” In my program, it’s the fourth Medicine, and we call it Practice. 

Last Words (For Now)

I love that we can explore these mechanisms of pathology and means of healing from myriad perspectives.

I love finding what works best for each individual, respecting their beliefs and resonant approach to healing. From here, we can bridge:

• The shamanic work of soul retrieval.

• Poetic imagery of the bag we drag behind us.

• Modern medicine and psychology’s perspectives on the suppression of emotion. 

Whatever language you prefer, truth is truth. It’s powerful and beautiful to discuss shared truths in the realm of dis-ease and healing.

To join the conversation, please leave your thoughts or just say hello in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!

Also feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

And if you’d like a step-by-step guide to undertake a Medicine Drum Journey or a Shamanic wRites exercise, just click those links. See you inside.

With All Good Medicine,
Randal

Editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .

To riff on that Einstein quote, we can’t think our way out of a problem with the same brand of thinking that created it.

One of my jobs is to help them change their thinking. And one way to do this is to introduce them to shamanic exercises, including Medicine Journeys and Shamanic wRites. These methods offer alternative perspectives when looking at a situation—perspectives that offer new possibilities for solutions and healing.

However, you might be thinking…

“Yeah, but I’m an atheist.”

So, what then? What happens when this whole shamanic approach runs straight into someone’s atheistic beliefs?

“Doesn’t shamanism require me to believe in spirits, God, or some kind of Higher Power?”

No, not necessarily. Sure, in shamanism we believe that sprits are real. We interact with them and establish, build, and maintain two-way relationships.

But, the exercises can also “just” be mental or imaginative. 

This is important to someone who’s an atheist or agnostic in recovery because it:

• Grants them permission to be in relationship with something bigger than themselves without bringing in religion or particular brands of faith

• Allows them to call “It” whatever they wish

• Releases them from the rules of the religion and/or God from childhood

• Allows them to pick something—anything—that is new and better fits their current belief system

Why’s this important?

Look, a person in recovery needs all the external support they can get. Similar to reaching out to another person in a time of need, with this relationship, one turns to their spirit for guidance.

The act of opening, with clear intention, and sending specific requests outward initiates a flow—from us to them, from them to us. This holds regardless of our specific beliefs and regardless what we choose to call our outside source of support.

That flow is medicine. In fact, it’s the exact medicine that breaks through what we call “stagnation” in Chinese Medicine. It helps us get unstuck and move forward.

This is a big deal—especially given that many of us hit plateaus when sobriety requires us to relinquish old, outdated ways of thinking, believing, feeling, and acting. There’s usually hesitation in letting go of the familiar—even if our head is telling us it’s a good idea. 

Someone with a strong religious or spiritual base can fall back on their faith and a phrase like, “Let go, let God.” From there, they can move forward and move in a new direction. 

But for an agnostic or atheist…not so much. They are more likely to get stuck at this point—that’s where a shamanic perspective can be useful.  

Another reason such “stuck-ness” can occur more readily for an atheist or agnostic is because they are left on their own to figure things out. Inherent in the perspective that there’s something “bigger than oneself” is the notion that “It” lies outside of oneself. 

When there’s just one, there’s no flow. When we’ve got “me” and “Other,” we’ve got two. Now there’s relationship. Now there’s flow. Now there’s a structure for medicine.

Regardless of what the Other is called, this relationship holds the promise of help and support.

For example…

Whether we call It:

• God

• Spirits

• Nature

• Universe

• Higher Power

• The Muse

• My Grandmother the Ancestor, who is a helping and compassionate spirit

• An Archetype

• The Tao

…one can begin to imagine that there are forces “out there”—meaning, outside of oneself—that we can turn to in times of need. 

For instance, a client I worked with a few years back categorizes himself as “somewhere between an atheist and an agnostic.”

He would go through phases when 12-Step meetings were a big part of his life, but had trouble when conversations turned to a specific, traditional Higher Power. 

For him, that’s where things went off the rails. And, that’s where we went to work.

He returned from a guided shamanic journey—which for him was all about “imagination”—with a eureka moment.

“Randy, I got it. I don’t care if you call it a spirit, or an arm of the compassionate Universe reaching down, or a character from a Scooby Doo cartoon. I got what works for me.”

Yes, okay…and it is?

“The Spirit of Doing the Next Right Thing. Boom. That’s all there is to it.”

He explained that this works for him because:

• Mentally, he knows the right choice.

• Emotionally, this feels true in his gut.

• Physically, he knows the right course of action.

When he takes a breath and views his situation while connected with and listening to the “Spirit of Doing the Next Right Thing,” there is only one right choice before him. Even if it’s all “in his imagination,” it’s as simple as that. 

As we continued working together, he actually enjoyed picturing his Spirit of Doing the Next Right Thing as a Scooby Doo character. Hey, whatever works! 

This also reinforced how the decision-making process in recovery can be simple—especially compared to his work as a successful stock trader.

The fact that his spirit appears as a Scooby Doo cartoon hammers this home—reminding him that even a child could figure this out. Plus, he gets a good laugh moving through daily obstacles.

This work isn’t easy, but the Spirit of Doing the Next Right Thing offers a foundation. It solidifies the mental pictures and processes of his approach to “something bigger than himself” and provides a common language and vocabulary.

From here, we leveraged myriad ways shamanism could work for him in his sobriety—even as an atheist/agnostic.

Your turn.

What works for you and your recovery when it comes to seeking outside support and naming something bigger than yourself? A Scooby Doo character…or something different?

Please share in the comments, and feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

And if you’d like to go on a guided Medicine Journey or do a Medicine wRites exercise, you’ll find them in the The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery Free Preview here. See you inside.

With All Good Medicine,
Randal

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

—Wayne Dyer

Watching a child repetitively fail at connecting the final, s-shaped segment of a toy train track that will complete the winding route is a study in human nature.

He knows he’s close to launching his first locomotive run, but he’s not there yet and is getting frustrated. The last piece is upside down and not quite right. Unable to see the problem clearly, he continues pounding an ill-fitting, upside down section into that devil-of-a-space. Driven by the “I-can-almost-hear-the-engine-whistle” desire to see his train go around the track, he does his best to force it.

Of course, no amount of pounding is going to make that piece of track fit. Frustrated and trying the same thing again and again, he can’t see that he needs to find a different way.

From the outside, we can see that all he needs to do is flip the s-shaped piece over and slide it into place. The answer is simple. So, we wonder, “How long is he going to keep pounding before he realizes that his way will never work? Or that he has to try something different?”

This is what it’s like watching someone struggle with addiction. From the outside, the solution is clear. From the perspective of the person struggling, it “makes more sense” to keep doing the same thing again and again. Even though it will never work. Even though it has never and will never lead anywhere good.

Addiction Is a Cycle

The second of The Path of Recovery’s three Principles is: Addiction is a cycle. In the Program, we take a close look at every phase during the patterned and repetitive use of a person’s drug of choice.

Because addiction is a repetitive, predictable cycle, we can catch what’s happening, interrupt it, and break its momentum. We do so at exactly this juncture: The one where “doing the same thing over and expecting a different result” kind of pounding is occurring.

So, two questions:

1. How long are they (or you) going to keep pounding?

2. What will it take to get them (or you) to pause and try something different?

A Different Way

One thing it takes is seeing things differently. The first step is a moment of truth and the realization: “What I’m doing isn’t working.”

Someone may arrive at this truth on their own or with the “assistance” of outside intervention. Either way, in that moment, the insanity ends. That moment is magic. That moment is Medicine.

Because now one is ready to ask, “Well, if my way doesn’t work…what will?”

Then, the Universe opens up before us. Then, the Universe responds.

So, what does it take to reach this place of:

• What I’m doing isn’t working.

• Now what? What’s the alternative?

One Word: Awareness.

And by “awareness,” I don’t mean: “Hey Randy, you know what? It’d be a good idea if you stopped drinking and doing drugs.”

Gee thanks, I hadn’t thought of that.

No.

The kind of awareness I’m referring to is a perspective that shines into and illuminates our lives through spirit. It springs from somewhere deep in the Earth and resonates in harmony with our heart, soul, and bones. It does so because it’s an old-as-time kind of true.

This is the Medicine of Awareness. And this is how shamanism can help.

Getting There

When we undertake a Medicine Journey or a Shamanic wRites exercise, we:

1. Have a clear intention.

2. Are open to receiving help.

3. Are open to the infinite possibilities that could be an answer.

One of the greatest gifts of these experiences is seeing our problems from a different perspective. A few examples of what this might look and feel like:

• You are carried by Eagle and can see your entire problem from above. You are offered an overview and expansive perspective that you couldn’t imagine while in the midst of it, pounding away.

• You are brought to and welcomed inside Raccoon’s dark den. From this place, you approach your problem from a pitch-black, clean slate—one where anything is new and possible.

• Merging with and becoming a drop of Water, you flow through your situation. You touch, feel, become part of, and experience a natural, healthy alternative. Manifesting a much different, more healing cycle becomes possible.

• You encounter a family Ancestor, who brings you to the place where you store unexpressed grief. You see the mechanisms behind this inability to express, as well as details about the grief you are carrying.

These are but a few examples of how shamanic work can offer a new lens on experience. It answers both of our questions, because:

• We no longer feel the need to keep pounding.

• We are shown a new path forward—one leading to something different.

Beyond Awareness

In this work, there is not only new awareness but also the feeling of knowing and the experience of being supported by our helping spirits.

• Eagle will provide an expansive, bird’s eye view.

• Raccoon will hold you in the safety of his den.

• Nature will provide the path of flow.

• Ancestors will answer your call for help.

Always a Practice

There are layers to healing and levels when it comes to applying awareness to daily practice.

I can still recall being the boy in this tale during my active using days—desperate to see that chugging train get a rollin’ and doing whatever it took to make that happen. Some part of me was hooked on the hope: “Maybe this round of pounding will snap it into place. Then I can get…” Pound, pound, pound…

Nowadays, I may not be pounding pieces into toy tracks or riding the train of alcohol and other drugs.

And yet, what about…

• When the trash bag gets caught on the handle of the metal bin as I’m trying to remove it? Yanking harder on the thin plastic only rips the bag. Who do you think wins this one?

• When I’m on the phone with an automated system and repeating myself with increasing intensity? “Representative!!” I’m pounding in rage against the machine; AI could care less about my anger.

• When my partner, against her wise knowing, enters into a comment war on a design blog? One where the bloggers are lovely, and she feels called to defend them against anonymous haters? Who do you think wins that debate? Do you really think wisdom gets through?

And so, we bring awareness and begin again. And so, that’s why it’s called a practice.

Now You

Where have you tried to pound train tracks or square pegs into ill-fitting places?

Please share in the comments, and feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com.

And if you’d like to go on a guided Medicine Journey or do a Medicine wRites exercise, you’ll find them in the The Sober Shaman’s Pat of Recovery Free Preview here. See you inside.

With All Good Medicine,
Randal

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .

“‘What do you like doing best in the world, Pooh?’

‘Well,’ said Pooh, ‘what I like best—’ and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.”

—A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner

When it comes to the Cycle of Addiction, a dirty little secret is this: There’s a moment in that cycle when addiction works.

In that moment—which occurs just before partaking in one’s drug of choice rather than during the actual consumption or doing—everything is right with world (or at least feels a whole lot better).

After all the hard work it took to get there—all the planning and focus and energy (not to mention everything it took to clean up and cover up the consequences from last time)—there’s a moment of stillness and calm. There’s a moment where, temporarily, all is okay.

Or, in the words of Charlie Sheen: “I’m winning!”

This brief window before using is what we’re actually addicted to and what holds the hook. I call it the Magic Moment.

It’s also the exact spot where we can break the Cycle of Addiction and have it never play out the same way again.

The Power of the Magic Moment

What’s so “magical”? Why does it “work”? Sure, it took a lot to get here—getting here was probably our primary fixation while pretending to focus on other people and things.

But now that we’re here—after all the covering up, planning, and acquisition—we aren’t using yet. In the Magic Moment, we haven’t consumed our drug and are not yet high from intake.

So where’s the magic? I’ll tell you: In that moment—even for mere seconds in time—we’ve silenced the voices of limiting core beliefs. These beliefs are painful. These beliefs contain the origins of addiction and give birth to the cycle.

Why does this hold such power? What’s the big deal with beliefs? I can explain this using Chinese Medicine theory, complete with models and charts.

But for our purposes today, in plain English, it comes down to this: Experience controls belief. Let’s take a look.

Experience Controls Belief

Many approaches recognize the role of “limiting core beliefs” in feeding and perpetuating addiction. These beliefs vary from person to person but, in general, center unfavorable ways of viewing ourselves and our innate worth (or lack thereof).

For example, I might have a limiting core belief of “I’m not loveable” or “I’m not enough” or “I’m unworthy” or “I’m broken or bad” or, or, or…

When caught in addiction, whether such beliefs are true is irrelevant (as are any “positive affirmations” we tell ourselves but don’t truly and subconsciously believe).

These beliefs are painful. The Magic Moment, in hushing them, offers respite and relief. Such relief doesn’t last of course (rather, when caught in addiction, we do the exact thing that will “prove” those beliefs and reinforce the painful cycle). But, for a moment, it works.

Think about it: In that moment just before using, the future holds one option. Everything’s in place. No thought or planning’s required. It’s just you and “your stuff” (whether alcohol or other drugs, food you’re about to binge, etc.).

You’ve finished everything it took to get here. The energy of deserving what’s next reaches its climax.

This is the culmination and pinnacle of the Cycle of Addiction: The rollercoaster has reached the top of the first, steepest climb. You’re suspended for an instant of calm, surveying your surrounds. You’re about to begin the ride.

None of this lives in “theory.” Acquisition and using are no longer an idea, plan, or mere craving. The moment is now. It’s finally an experience. And…

Experience controls belief. Including limiting beliefs. Including the ones at the origins of addiction.

In the Magic Moment just before using, the promise and power of experience leaves no room for anything else. Not even our deepest, most painful limiting beliefs.

That’s why it works. That’s why we’re addicted to the Magic Moment—not the actual substance or behavior.

At the top of the ride (or right before digging into that honey) addiction makes sense.

Chef André & 10 Minutes

Here’s another example, from real life. I spoke recently with Chef André deWaal, a fine-dining restaurant owner of Andre’s Lakeside Dining and member of Ben’s Friends. For those not familiar with this organization:

“Ben’s Friends is a community of chefs, bartenders, line cooks, servers, sommeliers, hosts and hostesses, GMs and owners who have found or are seeking sobriety. Our mission is to offer community, hope and a path forward for those struggling with substance abuse and addiction. At our core, we are hospitality workers who have found connection, and the tools to seek and maintain sobriety while managing our careers and lives in a sane and purposeful way.”

When I asked Chef André about the Magic Moment, he knew precisely what I was talking about and provided a personal example:

“There would be about 10 minutes before 10 a.m. when I had the next meal planned and prepped and the early help was gone and the serving staff wasn’t in yet. It was right here, when I would sit down at the bar with the place to myself and crack open a cold beer. It was those 10 minutes that I deserved.

I noticed that if I was interrupted by a staff member coming in early, I’d have to pound that beer. Then, I’d have to quickly go and give that person some work so I could get back to the bar.

I’d already had the beer, but I didn’t get my 10 minutes. So, I’d have to have a second beer…all before 10 a.m. Even then, I still didn’t get those full 10 minutes to enjoy it, so this fed into a day’s worth of chasing it and drinking”

Yes, André: That’s exactly what I’m talking about. It’s those 10 minutes “you deserved” that held the power—not the beer itself.

Awareness Equals Opportunity

So where’s this leave us? How do we break free of the Magic Moment’s clutches and the promise that has never and will never be kept?

How do we stop seeking a fleeting instant of relief that will ultimately culminate in reinforcing our limiting core beliefs and an increasingly painful cycle?

Well, for starters, the Medicine of Awareness offers an opportunity to recognize what’s happening before, during, and after. With intention and practice, we’ll catch what’s about to happen sooner rather than later and eventually skirt it entirely.

We only need to be aware enough to pause, breathe, relax our shoulders and belly, and ask:

“What am I doing here? Is this really what I want? Has this ever gotten me what I’m truly after?”

Play the tape forward: See what comes next. See where the Magic Moment has led Every. Single. Time. See that it can never and will never deliver.

Remind yourself that the Magic Moment—a brief experience of calm and relief—is gone in an instant.

Ask yourself: Is that instant ever worth it? Are a few minutes (at most) ever worth the consequences that always come after?

When you interrupt the Cycle of Addiction at this exact point—the point just before using—you ruin it. And by “ruin,” I mean you take away its power. You shed light on what “has the hook” and how it will silence limiting beliefs for a mere moment…before reinforcing them and all the pain and consequences.

When we throw a wet blanket on the Magic Moment, we utilize not only the Medicine of Awareness, but also the Medicine of Experience. We shift from an experience that acts on behalf of addiction…to one that works in our favor.

In the process, we interrupt the entire cycle. We take the truth that “experience controls belief” and use it for good and for healing.

By bringing awareness…by creating a different experience…by throwing a monkey wrench into “what we always do to get what we always get”…we step out of the cycle and change the story.

Each time we manage to do this and back away from the Magic Moment (along with the using and consequences), we offer ourselves a different experience. One that is healing and actually quiets limiting beliefs. One that proves our capacity to be more and choose differently.

Now you.

Well? Does this ring true? Can you identify the Magic Moment just before using your drug of choice?

Can you see the fleeting nature of that moment…and how its promise is never kept?

What would it be like to see it…then choose something different? What experience would that bring? How would that impact your underlying fears, worries, wounds, and beliefs?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Also feel free to email me directly at Spirit@RandalLyons.com.

And if you’re ready for comprehensive, intensive support in working with this and escaping a painful cycle, head here for a Free Preview of The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery.

With All Good Medicine,
Randy

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .

1. Addiction affects the whole person.

2. Addiction is a cycle.

3. Addiction impacts every close relationship in our lives.

The last two weeks, we covered Principle 1 and why your recovery journey is unique, followed by Principle 2 and how addiction is predictable and thus treatable:

Today, we’re looking at Principle 3 and how addiction is about more than just you or me. It affects every close relationship in our lives.

Principle 3: Addiction impacts every close relationship in our lives.

When someone’s in active addiction, they cycle through the five phases of hidden beliefs, planning, acquiring, using, covering up, and dealing with the aftermath.

Round and round. Again and again. Perhaps resolving to do something different this time…but always ending up doing the same thing…with the same (or worse) results.

Caught in this cycle, they are impacting every aspect of their own life. But also, they are affecting every close relationship and person they’re in relationship with. Even when it doesn’t seem that way or “so bad” on the surface. Even when it feels like everything is more or less “fine” or “in control.”

In an ongoing, close relationship, we fall into patterns, routines, and what’s familiar.

We’re not necessarily present for or listening in the moment. We’re not necessarily responding to the moment in a new, heart-sourced, authentic way.

Rather, we default to: “I already know what this is about, and this is how I react.” Some of this conscious, but more of it is subconscious. We’ve been dancing this same dance for so long that our steps—and reactions—are automatic.

Through our reactions, we literally re-act. I react to my partner; my partner reacts to me; it’s a dance (and not the spontaneous, creative, improv kind).

Over time, this dance becomes familiar…then routine…then our lives.

Eventually in addiction, this becomes the only dance we know. Perhaps both partners are in active addiction. Or one is while the other’s on the outside looking in and trying to manage and control. Either way, it’s one dance and one song on repeat. Changing up the music or steps feels impossible.

This is super painful. And, super common.

Some examples

To simplify here, let’s say one partner is caught in active addiction while the other is a loved one attempting to interrupt the cycle and “solve” the problem.

In each of the five phases, the loved one assumes the role of disruptor. The addict pushes back.

• As the addict, if I’m in the planning phase and plotting how to get and use my drug of choice, I’m going to protect my plan at all cost. If my partner offers an option that would disrupt my plans, I’ll re-act with some lie or other strategy to protect The Plan.

Them: “Hey, how about we go to that new Thai restaurant tonight?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, Love. I can’t make it tonight. I’ve got to…”

• As the addict, if I’m in the acquisition phase and on my way to get my stuff, I will again resist interference. I might say “no problem” to avoid dealing with the interruption, but my actions prove otherwise.

Them: “Hey, can you do me a favor and pick up eggs from the farmer’s market on your way home? I’ve got dinner timed just right, so that’d be great.”

Me: “Sure, babe.” (Then proceeding to chose the acquisition of my stuff over getting home in time with the eggs.)

• As the addict, if I’m in the covering-up phase and doing my best to hide my using and any consequences, I will re-act with a practiced defence. This might be outwardly aggressive and angry. Or it might be passive aggressive and full of gaslighting. Every addict—and every couple—has a default.

Them: “Hey, have you been drinking? You seem a little off.”

Me: “No, of course not. I can’t believe you’re saying that tonight. You know how stressed I am about work tomorrow, and here you go again starting a fight!”

Sound familiar?

You can see how, in each example, a simple statement is the partner’s attempt to interrupt the cycle of addiction (well-meaning or not and conscious or not).

The person in active addiction will push back and will choose their drug of choice over their partner or other loved one. This doesn’t make them a “bad” person. It’s just the way addiction works. And right now, addiction is in charge.

Depending on the particular dance, the steps may include angry escalation, withdraw and “the silent treatment,” or any number of other unhelpful patterns.

The one thing it will never be is original. Or present. Or responsive. Or truly intimate and loving. Our addictions don’t care about that. Our addictions don’t care about us or our partner.

Let’s change the music.

In addiction, every person in a close relationship with the addict will feel the impact. Every person in close relationship with the addict will also—whether they like it or not—be a dance partner.

Whatever style of dance we choose, there’s no way off that dance floor.

If the partner remains in the addict’s life, they will establish an “agreed upon” set of moves to an “agreed upon” song. Generally, this agreement will be unspoken—adding to its strength and capacity for harm.

Not sure whether you’re in such a dance? Trying changing up your default music or moves and watch what happens!

This impacts and shapes the routines, comings-and-goings, and entire life of those who are in a close relationship with an addict as much as it impacts the addict themself.

And, as a dance, one is leading and the other is following.

It’s super painful and super predictable.

It also means that, when an addict decides to get clean and sober, the decision impacts every close relationship in their life.

While it would “seem” as though changing up the music and dance moves in this way would be welcome for all involved, that’s not always (or often) the case.

For one, the addict’s partner or other loved one might be just as addicted to the dance. This is where we see codependency and enabling, for example. Or addiction to the story of being the fixer, giver, or caretaker.

And/or, the addict’s decision to get clean and sober may bring their loved one’s addictions or problematic relationship with alcohol or other drugs (including addictive foods or eating patterns) into sharp relief. In such cases, a new dance of triggered defensiveness is common.

I’ll be covering these and other dynamics in another post examining the “three types of dance partners in addiction.” For now, I’ll leave it at this:

For a close relationship to continue once someone chooses sobriety, the dance partner must be on board with changing the dance—and participating fully in a new, original, responsive dance of sobriety. Whether they choose to stay on in this new way or not, everything is going to change.

The simple—but not easy—treatment

In The Sober Shaman's Path of Recovery, we work though this using four medicines: Awareness, Experience, Connection, and Practice.

While the specifics will vary, here’s a simple (but not always easy) starting place when you notice yourself caught in a familiar, painful dance with a partner (could be a romantic partner, but also any other person in your life).

First, pause, notice, and surrender to the moment. Surrender to the truth (not the story) of what’s happening. Then, try this:

Awareness

• Become aware of your thoughts, witnessing what arises in reaction to your partner’s words.

Experience

• Instead of blurting out what’s on your mind, soften and surrender into the present moment.

• Consciously experience what it’s like to not respond.

Connection

• What does it feel like to not hurl your usual response?

• What does if feel like to soften and surrender?

• What does it feel like to not have to be right?

• What does it feel like to, instead of forcing your version of right, invite an opportunity for happiness? Or peace?

Practice

• Everything above will take work but will get easier. Keep at it.

In implementing and practicing the above, offer yourself space and grace. Don’t think that once you’ve caught yourself back in the same painful dance, hope is lost and your chance is over.

Awareness is the first, essential step. But this awareness may come:

• Before the dance gets going: Maybe you notice and course correct reactive thoughts before expressing them. Doing so offers an opportunity to change up your dance moves or leave the floor entirely.

• During the dance itself: Maybe you’re already caught up the in the dance, then notice: “Oh, crap! I’m doing it again.” No worries. Take a breath. Surrender. Start from there.

• After the dance has played out: Maybe you only notice after the fact: “Ohhhh…so that was the dance Randy was talking about! I see what I was doing. I’ll catch it earlier—and do something different—next time.” This is a common starting point, and surrender can still happen right there. What went down and the “need to be right” can be softened with a clear, unconditional apology and taking accountability for your side of the street.

With attention and practice, you’ll start to catch what’s happening before the fact more often.

But no awareness is wasted. Any awareness—even if feels “too late”—changes the pattern. Maybe slowly and subtly, but still. It couldn’t be otherwise. That’s just how awareness—and our body-mind-spirit—works.

How we do one thing…

One of my own partner’s favorite sayings is: “How we do one thing is how we do everything.”

So while you’re taking note of the dances in your life, remember this dance is happening in other relationships too. You might ask, for example:

• What’s my relationship to spirit?

• What’s my relationship to food?

• What’s my relationship to this place?

• What’s my relationship to my ancestors?

While you won’t be involved in the same kind of dance or getting the same responses from these partners as with human ones, a fundamental question runs throughout:

• Am I re-acting like I always have? Or am I listening, curious, and willing to do something different and be surprised?

When it comes to these other, non-human partners, this may be the first time you’re even asking this question.

If that’s you, great! Now, try asking this:

• How do I listen to these partners?

• What do they have to teach me?

• How do I surrender and receive a heart-sourced response?

• How does this affect my recovery?

While these sorts of dance partners are less obvious than loved ones and friends, they are nonetheless partners in an addict’s life. Our relationship to them is impacted by addiction…and changes in mindful, holistic recovery.

Next week, we’ll take a look at relationships from another angle: our partner’s response to our sobriety…and the choices we face from there.

Meanwhile, what dance move do you keep doing in relationship even though you wish you could stop? How does it impact your relationships? How does it relate to your addiction and recovery? Share or ask questions in the comments!

Also feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com. I’d love to hear about you and your journey.

And if you’re ready for more now, without having to wait, head here for a Free Preview of the Alchemist Recovery Program.

With All Good Medicine,
Randy

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .

1. Addiction affects the whole person.

2. Addiction is a cycle.

3. Addiction impacts every close relationship in our lives.

Last week, we covered Principle 1 and why your recovery journey is unique:

Today, we’re looking at Principle 2 and why—even in your uniqueness—addiction is predictable. I’ll also share personal examples from my rock-n-roll days.

Principle 2: Addiction is a cycle.

While not everyone’s recovery will look the same, there are universal, predictable cycles at play. Whatever your drug of choice, these cycles are easy to spot and predict.

Seeing and naming them is healing. It offers a wider lens and takes us out of denial and towards breaking a painful cycle on repeat.

It’s also what makes addiction 100-percent treatable (by “treatable,” I mean getting you out of that cycle).

While many treatment approaches acknowledge that addiction is a cycle, they usually leave it there. Meaning, they don’t chart the trajectory of that cycle…or how to break it.

Good news is, deeper insights are are all around and within! The cycle of addiction follows the cycles of Nature. Addiction is predictable because it’s natural.

As a shamanic practitioner and Chinese Medicine doctor, I draw on this time-tested wisdom to understand where a person is in the cycle of addiction—and the best place to step out of it and into something original.

Here are the basics:

• The cycle of addiction follows five phases.

• These five phases arise from—and parallel—the elementals and energetics of Nature.

• The phases aren’t “bad” in and of themselves. The harmful part arises from how they manifest in addiction.

• These phases are part of a system of medicine practiced and proven over more than 5,000 years.

Hold all that in mind (along with this snapshot) as you read what’s below.

Five Phases

Let’s take the five phases one by one, with examples of how they manifested for me, on my road to recovery.

Water

This is the Hidden Phase. We can think of it as the underlying beliefs at the core of addiction. They are the internalized messages imprinted onto our belief system as a result of trauma, abuse, heartbreak, or loss.

In my work with self and others, I find identifying, acknowledging, listening to, and addressing these beliefs essential for long-term sobriety.

• For example: My core beliefs were: “I’m not enough,” and “I’m not deserving of love.”

• These beliefs are as universal and old as heartbreak itself.

Wood

This is the Planning Phase. The “plan” includes conscious aspects (how to get your drug of choice, for instance) and subconscious aspects (how to “fix” your underlying beliefs and fill the hole of those beliefs).

The root trauma, abuse, heartbreak, or loss…the internalized beliefs…and the “plan” to fix them are part of a universal pattern and predictable cycle.

• For example: If “I’m not enough” and “not deserving of love,” I will make a plan to “be enough” and “be deserving.” For me, this took the form of “making it in music.” It was the 80s, everybody had a band, and while the odds were not in our favor, that didn’t matter because…

• At this phase, the drive to “fix” the underlying beliefs overrides logic and whether something is a good idea.

• My subconscious plan was that “making it in music” would bring accolades and success that would make me “enough” and “deserving of love.” (After all, people who “made it in music” sure acted as though they were enough and deserving!)

• Meanwhile, while working towards “making it in music,” my conscious plan was to find immediate relief: Let’s “get some stuff” to numb the pain, distract the thoughts, and quiet the voices emanating from those beliefs—and let’s do it now.

Fire

This is the Acquisition Phase, when we act on the plan and get ahold of our drug of choice.

• For example: If I’m going to make it in music, I’d better get busy!

• On the one hand, this led me to engage in dedicated practice, acquire the tools, and get a band (made up of people who generally had the same types of plans to “fix” their own wounded beliefs.)

• Meanwhile, there was the concurrent acquisition of “stuff” (i.e., alcohol and other drugs) to make the upcoming gig “all it could be.” But that gig’s a little ways away…so let’s get some for while we’re practicing—you know, to give a little oomph to our effort.

Earth

This is the Using Phase, when we partake in or commune with our drug of choice.

• For example: Back in the 80s, for me, this meant Show Time—performing in a big gig and making my dream a reality.

• It encompassed consummation of the plan, connection to my band, being in community with the audience, and being in communion with “my stuff” (ingested before, during, and after, because I deserve it.)

Metal

This is the Reinforcement, or Aftermath, Phase, when all that planning, acquisition, and partaking land us back where we started—only worse.

• For example: No surprise that music gigs didn’t deliver the real fix I was seeking, change my limiting beliefs, or solve my underlying wounds.

• While performing may have moved us a step closer to “making it” (especially if there were record label folks in the audience who liked what we did), there was no “boom—we’ve made it” moment. Most of the time, I felt even further from the dream once the gig was over (both because of drug use, and because those record label folks would “red flag” us for obvious ingestion and usage.)

• So, if all that planning, practicing, and performing didn’t fix it—and the dream felt further rather than closer—what do you think I reached for next? How do you think I tried to make myself feel better?

Caught in the cycle, where are we headed?

Looking at the cycle as a whole, where does it lead? Maybe something like…

• You know what? After all that, maybe I’m really just not enough. Maybe I’m truly not deserving of love. Maybe those original beliefs and their shaming, blaming voices are right!

In other words, without changing course, we’re planting seeds for the next round of a painful record on repeat.

And, while it’s the same cycle, it gains increasing strength and becomes increasingly destructive. This is because, with each round, I prove my limiting beliefs true. They aren’t just beliefs anymore. Now, they’re reality—which feels even worse.

So, we’re off for another round…which can never and will never yield different outcomes.

Where to from here? How do we get out?

Everyone in active addiction follows this same, predictable cycle. The five phases are universal and predictable. Good news is, this makes addiction treatable!

In The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery, the four medicines we covered last post are woven into each lesson—both as teachings and exercises.

• We use Medicine Journeys and Shamanic wRites in each phase.

• We apply your medicine in each phase (Awareness, Experience, Connection, and Practice).

• We find the phase where your addiction is weakest and break the cycle there.

• We find the phase where you are your strongest and leverage your strengths.

• We continue applying all four medicines in each phase to support your ongoing growth and reinforce your new cycles of manifestation, health, and abundance in recovery.

Each phase offers material to work with, and we explore this material through a series of corresponding journeys. Each also provides its own brand of the four medicines. Here’s the line-up of lessons for each phase:

Water: What’s Hidden?

Belief vs. Reality: Which Is Stronger?
The Power of Surrender
The Lake of Fear
The Power of Dreams
A Shamanic View of Illness

Wood: The Plan in Motion

Movement Is Medicine
Qi: Hold the Ball
Belief vs. Desire
Discipline vs. Creativity
The Power of “No!”

Fire: Let’s Get It!

The Fire of Desire
Roll the Dice
The Hero’s Journey
Soul Courting: Part 1
Soul Courting: Part 2

Earth: It’s Time.

Mother and the Divine Feminine
Communion: Through Her Eyes
The Perfect Home
Communion: Nurturance

Metal: Now What?

Empty Your Cup: The Story of the Two Brothers
Addicted to Your Story
Forgiveness: Others
Forgiveness: Self
Grief
Capacity

Water 2: Around We Go Again…

Inheritance
Secrets
Our Enemy
Your Family Tree
Ancestors

If you want a more felt idea of what the Program looks like and how it works, here’s a Free Preview.

Also stop by next week, when we’ll cover Principle 3: Addiction impacts every close relationship in our lives.

Meanwhile, what’s your favorite song for today? And where do you get caught in a bad cycle (or record!) on repeat? Share or ask questions in the comments!

Also feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com. I’d love to hear about you and your journey.

With All Good Medicine,
Randy

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who shares raw, unfiltered writing about sobriety and soulful living at .

Do I drink or not? Do I drug or not? Do I binge cookies and ice cream or not?

You know the answer. You know what will be helpful or unhelpful, and what will make you feel better or worse. It’s simple, but not always easy.

But what if the next part isn’t so clear? What if, for example, you ask:

Okay, I know this is making things worse. I’m exhausted by this “bad cycle on repeat.” But how do I get out? What do I do now?”

Oftentimes—even when we’ve surrendered to the truth—knowing what to do (or even what to ask) gets tricky.

Whether you’re the identified addict or supporting a loved one, overwhelm and uncertainty are common in addiction. Knowing how to recover is anything but simple—much less easy.

This is in part because of the thousands of “solutions” out there—and solution holders shouting from a thousand internet rooftops. Options are awesome. But what’s the right one for you?

If this sounds familiar, just know that I’ve been there. Also know, I’ve got you. Let’s walk through how to find your answers and next steps.

The 3 Principles of Addiction

The Sober Shaman's Path of Recovery starts with three principles:

1. Addiction affects the whole person.

2. Addiction is a cycle.

3. Addiction impacts every close relationship in our lives.

I’ve applied these principles with all kinds of people in all stages of discovery and recovery. I’ve also used them in my own journey and integrated them into my work with private clients and at world-class treatment centers.

This week, we’ll focus on Principle 1. In coming weeks, we’ll hit 2 and 3.

Principle 1: Addiction affects the whole person.

As I say: “Addiction is predictable, but you are unique.”

While there are universal, predictable cycles in addiction—whatever your drug of choice—not everyone’s recovery will look the same. Your recovery journey involves identifying your “right language,” applying your “right medicine,” and doing this in your “right time.”

Some addiction treatment professionals, centers, and programs highlight the predictable part and downplay what makes each of us special. Such approaches are easy to spot. They insist: “You MUST do it this way—or else!”

While perhaps well-meaning (and perhaps helpful for some), the result is often feeling pressured, overwhelmed, and even threatened. It also carries an element of stigma and shame—one reason many folks delay or avoid treatment.

In the early stages of helping someone explore and choose their best path, I use Principle 1 as a form of triage. Let’s take a look.

Above, we have four aspects of the whole person:

• Mental

• Spiritual

• Emotional

• Physical

Each of these aspects has a corresponding domain—meaning, how it’s expressed for us to see, sense, and work with in recovery and our lives. They match up like so:

The domains provide material to examine and work with. Indeed, each of these pairings comes with a vocabulary and paradigms. Those align with various modalities and therapies.

A key element in finding your best, most effective path is acknowledging that each pairing has its own language.

As a practitioner, this is my first point of triage. There will be one or maybe two of these aspect-domain pairs that speaks loudest to you. They’ll just feel right—or wrong—in your gut.

You know what resonates and what you want and don’t want. Together, we identify that and push off from there.

A Yes or No might look like this.

Mental

• Yes: “I need to understand why my addiction shows up this way.”

• No: “I’m not here to be psychoanalyzed.”

Spiritual

• Yes: “Addiction is like trying to fill a God-sized hole. Spirituality holds answers and healing.”

• No: “I don’t want anything with G.O.D. in it. Spare me the shamanic drumming and woo.”

Emotional

• Yes: “I need to learn how to regulate my emotions. When I feel XYZ, I want to use.”

• No: “I’m done talking about my childhood. Give me the straightforward nuts and bolts of what I need to do.”

Physical

• Yes: “I need ways to manage physical pain without meds or numbing with booze. What movement exercises or somatic therapies should I try?”

• No: “I’m not big on exercise and don’t see what that has to do with my addiction. Let’s focus on the issue at hand.”

Any of those ring true? Whether a Yes or a No?

Your answer—the one you know in your bones—reveals a lot about what language will work best and what medicine’s a good fit.

Whatever your aspect, domain, and language of choice, there’s a medicine that matches. For example:

Chances are, the person or practice delivering or facilitating the medicine will also be different!

It might look like meditation or Chinese Medicine or shamanic exercises. It might look like yoga or martial arts or prayer.

Of course, more conventional biomedical and psychological therapies work too. You might even combine modalities and medicines—an alchemical approach is helpful and powerful.

The key with Principle 1 is that we find what works for you.

We eliminate approaches that aren’t your best fit. We honor your beliefs, respect your unique path, and get you fully on board. Since no one but you can get you sober, your buy-in and full participation is essential.

In the The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery, all four medicines are woven into each lesson—both as teachings and exercises.

Meaning, all 52 lessons in the program cover: awareness, experience, connection, and practice. They impart universal insights, while offering pathways for unique, individual exploration and expression.

Here’s a short list of examples:

The Medicine of Awareness

Lesson 1 - Definitions: Alcoholic, Addict, Addicted
Lesson 8 - How Did I Get This Way?
Lesson 17 - Belief vs. Reality: Which is Stronger?

The Medicine of Experience

Lesson 23 - Qi: Hold the Ball
Lesson 26 - The Power of “No!”
Lesson 45 - Pilgrimage & Your Family Tree

The Medicine of Connection

Lesson 34 - The Perfect Home
Lesson 35 - Communion: The Power of Nurturance
Lessons 38 & 39 - Forgiveness: Self & Others

The Medicine of Practice

Lesson 22 - Movement Is Medicine
Lessons 30 & 31 - Soul Courting: Parts 1 & 2
Lesson 51 - Agreements: It Takes Two to Tango

Again, each of the 52 lessons delivers all four medicines—but a particular medicine or medicines feature prominently in particular lessons. This allows us to customize your path in sobriety and, at the same time, address what’s universal when it comes to addiction…and sustainable, longterm recovery.

Stay tuned next week, when we’ll cover Principle 2: Addiction is a cycle.

Meanwhile, share your best medicine or ask questions in the comments! Also feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com. I’d love to hear about you and your journey.

With All Good Medicine,
Randy

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. , who wrote most recently about daily routines for addiction and eating disorder recovery at ).

In early recovery, I wanted to find “my people” and “my path.” In essence, I was seeking an approach that would work for me. In that search, I started where most people do, attending a few gatherings of folks who resonate with one very specific, very popular method.

To be clear, that particular method has helped countless people and saved countless lives. Problem is, it—and the language it uses—didn’t work for me.

In those gatherings, when I shared how I felt coming into sobriety and was vulnerable about how “I wanted to do it,” long-standing attendees did little listening and lots of well-rehearsed responding. The general refrain? “Hey guys, we’ve got another ‘terminally unique’ one over here!”

According to them, I was not going to get or stay clean “doing it my way.” For them, the one and only answer was clear. I needed to:

• Adopt their system, language, and beliefs without customization, conditions, or questions.

• Join “with them” versus with other “terminally uniques.”

• Trade my gut feelings, intuition, and inner compass for their “experienced know-how.”

Now, some of this makes sense for certain people in certain situations. Addiction is tricky, and it’s all too easy to “think we know best” when it’s actually denial doing the talking.

And yet, for me, this was not that. And, for me, something about the whole thing—and their language—felt off.

Long story short: I did not join them. I trusted my gut and found “my people” and path. I got clean and sober and still am—nearly 29 years later and long after many others I met had relapsed.

To be clear: I’m sharing my personal experience. I’m not dissing these particular gatherings or this particular method. It has worked wonders for many and has saved many lives.

And, it wasn’t for me. And, there’s never one approach that will be the best fit for everyone. Because here’s the thing:

Meaning: Addiction has immutable, unforgiving, universal laws that apply to everyone. And, at the same time, addiction is highly personal, and your path in recovery won’t look exactly like anyone else’s.

What’s more, there are some truths that are older, deeper, and wiser than whatever addiction has taken over. These sorts of truths are held and known in your bones.

AND, this isn’t a free pass. To get to those truths, take aligned action, and break an addictive cycle, you still have to do necessary and universally unavoidable work. Then do it again. And again.

To quote Joseph Campbell:

“You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or path, it is someone else’s path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential.”

I weave this quote and Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey” into Lesson 29 of The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery. Get a Free Preview here.

Truth…or Addiction Talking?

Yes, but… When can you trust your gut and deeper knowing…and when is what you’re hearing the voice of addiction, justification, and denial?

How do you know the difference?

For me—and these details will be different for everyone—I knew in my bones that my “unique path” in recovery involved Chinese Medicine and shamanism. Both held answers, but no clear, well-paved path.

Indeed, entering the forest at the darkest point, there was no path.

The recovery field has expanded in recent years, and more options are available. Back then, there were no support groups to speak about my trauma, feelings, or addiction-related issues in these specific, sometimes esoteric languages.

So, I listened to my gut. So, I followed my heart and bones.

This wasn’t easy. It required that I participate—not just in finding answers, but finding my answers—and articulating how the universal applied to the personal.

Then, finding answers, I had to do the necessary and universally unavoidable work. I’m still doing it—I’ll always be doing it.

Put differently, finding the path that works for you does not mean taking the easy way or bypassing the problem. Quite the opposite, really.

Where do you start?

You are the only person who can choose this journey and can choose to step onto your path of recovery—whatever that looks like and whatever language and practices work for you.

And, in finding my way, I made it my life’s work to help others. My online, self-guided program, The Path of Recovery and one-on-one work with clients combines Chinese Medicine, shamanism, and the alchemical combination of practices that helped me. One that’s been tested and refined during my own trek through the forest—and my work helping thousands of others.

For today, start here. It’s not the whole of it by any stretch—but it will help you discern that true knowing in your bones…from the sneaky voice of denial and addiction:

In Chinese Medicine, we have something called “Zhi.” Often translated as “willpower,” it’s actually not that.

Zhi goes deeper. Zhi is related to our inner knowing and inner compass.

Zhi is what we know, deep down, is true and healing and best for us.

Has your Zhi been hijacked?

So long as we’re tuning into our true Zhi and internal guidance system, knowing what to do—even one next, healing step—will be clear.

Problem is, addiction hijacks our willpower…and pulls our Zhi along with it. This is one reason why some approaches to recovery speak of “surrendering your will” as an essential first step.

In the Alchemist Recovery approach, this does not mean surrendering your Zhi and deepest, truest, in-your-bones knowing. Rather, it means surrendering to that knowing—and the truth—and going from there.

This includes admitting you have a problem. Then having the courage to enter the forest. Then taking one step in accordance with your inner compass. And another. And another.

Addiction has probably hijacked your Zhi if…

• Thoughts, beliefs, feelings, or behaviors are leading back to ANY phase of the Cycle of Addiction (i.e., planning, acquiring, using, or covering up your drug of choice):

You find yourself in the company of what, in recovery circles, are known as “slippery people, places, and things.”

• Your recovery feels like hammering square pegs into round holes and is not yielding rewarding outcomes.

As the saying goes: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

You can trust your Zhi and what you know to be true when it…

• Connects you with your Higher Power, helping and compassionate spirits, and/or other sources of support—whatever that means for you.

• Leads you to participate in healing practices and rituals—whether centered around your Higher Power or other sources of support, allowing expression of deep emotions, offering insights into your Cycle of Addiction, and/or providing next steps in your recovery journey.

• Inspires your heart and stimulates your mind to do the next right thing.

Well? What’s your answer?

I know firsthand it’s a lot to sort out on your own. In Alchemist Recovery, I guide the way, help you take this deeper, and make sure you’re pointed in your right, most healing direction.

If you want more, keep following along in this series. In coming weeks, we’ll be doing Alchemist Recovery exercises to help you find clarity and get your answers.

If you have questions now and don’t want to wait, feel free to email me at Randy@AlchemistRecovery.com. Also feel free to ask or share down bellow in the comments.

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. (whom you can also find at )

Let’s take two people suffering from headaches as an example:

One person—we’ll call him Patrick—is seeking relief from splitting headaches. Patrick’s headaches are intense, feel like “lightning bolts,” and get worse when he’s angry—and he’s often angry. Patrick also has bloodshot eyes, is overheated easily, drinks heavily, talks loudly, and is frequently engaged in arguments. Cold plunges help; spending time in the hot sun during Florida summers makes everything worse.

Another person—we’ll call her Nicole—is seeking relief from chronic headaches. Nicole’s headaches are dull but constant, making it hard to concentrate or find joy in daily life. They’ve been going on for years but became significantly worse over the past six months, after resuming long work days postpartum while trying to care for her first child as a single mom. Nicole also feels exhausted, gets scant sleep, and is frequently cold. Rest and warm, nourishing soups help; worry, overwork, and strenuous exercise make everything worse.

Good news is, just by coming in for acupuncture, both Patrick and Nicole are going to get some relief.

Acupuncture, by its very nature, tends to move the body and mind towards homeostasis, balance, and healing. However, to see the biggest, most lasting outcomes, we’ve got to get specific.

We have literally hundreds of acupuncture points. Depending on the presenting pattern, the best combination of points will vary—even for the same disease or symptom. In other words, Patrick and Nicole’s point formulas will look totally different.

We’re talking acupuncture here, but with Chinese herbal medicine, this is even more paramount. The herbal remedy that works for Patrick’s headache will make Nicole’s headache worse (and likely cause more damage over time). The herbal remedy that works for Nicole’s headache will make Patrick even more overheated and angrier (without relieving his headache).

When it comes to supporting relief and recovery:

Now let’s talk addiction.

The universal principles underlying Chinese Medicine apply to far more than clinic and headaches. They also apply to far more than Chinese Medicine.

In my own addiction recovery and in my work with clients, it’s been clear from the outset that what will resonate with and work for some people will not work for others. It’s also been clear that different medicines are needed to help different people break out of addiction or their own “bad cycle on repeat.”

This is true even when folks have already accepted that there is an addiction to begin with. Meaning, if we recall last week’s post, they’ve already identified with the following definition:

Addiction is the patterned and repetitive use of any substance or action that attempts to fill a Void / fix a Wound, but instead makes things worse by reinforcing the whole pattern.

That acknowledgement—like coming in for acupuncture—is intrinsically helpful and healing. That acknowledgement and invitation is the first, universal layer of medicine.

And, to get optimal results, we’ve got to get specific. Same condition, different treatment.

There are various aspects and layers to this, but today I want to focus on two types of people (I’m generalizing here; there’s of course a spectrum between these clarifying poles):

1. Wound People: These folks prefer the language of “Wound” rather than “Void” in the above definition. They are focused on personal stories of trauma, abuse, heartbreak, and loss and prefer to tell and retell the details. Conversely, they have trouble accessing or talking about objective, impersonal energetics at play in painful cycles on repeat.

2. Void People: These folks prefer the language of “Void” rather than “Wound” in the above definition. They resonate most with logical, rational, objective discussion of concepts and energetics. Conversely, they have trouble accessing or talking about their heart, feelings, and deepest wounds.

First thing’s first.

Wherever someone lands between those poles is important and valid. It’s all encompassed within that definition of addiction. Similar to coming in for acupuncture treatment, the first, most essential medicine is simply showing up and naming what is true.

And…for optimal relief and results, we need to choose your best medicine.

If you’re a Wound Person, your medicine in recovery is going to be stepping back from replaying and rehearsing personal stories and beliefs…and taking a dose of impersonal perspective, energetics, and accountability.

If you’re a Void Person, your medicine in recovery is going to be loosening the hold of rational thought and concept…and touching into a dose of personal story and feeling.

In either case, we’re not discounting or throwing away what you bring to the table. Chances are, it’s what got you there! We’re simply balancing that out with your best medicine.

How do you know what recovery medicine is best for you?

Big question! If you get really honest, I’ll bet you already know the answer. If you’re unsure, these scenarios might help:

Wound People have trouble getting clear on how and why they keep repeating the same story with different details over time and in various contexts. Rather than identify patterns with objectivity, they default to retelling (and rehearsing) the same stories on repeat. When asked to set stories and feelings aside for a moment, they tend to respond: “I’m confused. I feel…”

Void People have trouble feeling or expressing sadness or grief. They also feel great resistance to bringing up what happened to them as kids, their first heartbreak, the loss of a pet or parent, etc. When asked how they feel, they tend to respond: “I think…”

Well? Are you more of a Wound Person…or a Void Person? Do you feel most comfortable sharing your personal story? Or speaking in energetics, abstraction, and concepts?

Whatever “your answer,” your answer is to do more of the opposite!

Knowing how to do this in a helpful, healing way is a whole other thing. But even just getting clear already changes the trajectory.

If you want more, make sure to keep following along in this series. If you’re ready for more right now, head here.

Are you a Wound Person or a Void Person? If you feel called, let us know (or ask questions or disagree!) in the comments. 

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. (whom you can also find at )

A friend of mine—let’s call him Craig—likes to go on long hikes in steep, forested mountains. By “hikes,” I do NOT mean leisurely strolls up gentle inclines along carefully manicured trails. With Craig, we’re talking rough climbs…through overgrown paths…for hours at a stretch…in bear country. 

Why’s he do it? Well, one reason is the view. After hours of climbing, unable to see anything but trees, he reaches a clearing near the top of a mountain. The view from there is breathtaking and awe inspiring. The view from there puts the arduous journey in perspective and life in perspective. 

In short, the journey and its culmination expands my friend’s horizons in a literal sense…and an expansive, existential one.

Sometimes—particularly in icy conditions or during what Craig calls “bear season”—the way is treacherous. Sometimes, he has hair-raising close calls. He’s used to this and seasoned. AND he didn’t start off that way. AND he never hikes without emergency supplies, a map, and a plan.

We’ll get back to my friend Craig in a minute. First, another story—this one, my own. 

I am an addict. I have been clean and sober for 28 years.

The route from where I was…to where I am now was really hard. And treacherous. And, frankly, lacking a map, emergency supplies, or a clear plan and destination.

Sure, there are lots of models and approaches out there for recovery. Sure, one person’s recovery will look different from another’s. Spoiler: There is no “best way” to the top of that mountain. The best way is the one that works for you.

Know what though? During my decades-long process of trekking from bottom to top…finding encouragement at lookout points along the way…I reached a place of ease and expansive perspective. One from which I could gaze down and see the forest for the trees. One from which I could gaze outwards, grasping hitherto unimaginable horizons.  

The summit is neither fixed nor final, of course. In recovery—and life—there is no end point (I mean, unless you count the ultimate one). Still, I learned a lot from the climb. I’m able to see and share a lot from the ascent itself and my current vantage point. I have a path, a plan, and an entire language for describing a confusing, scary, perception-shifting, life-altering journey. 

I’ll be sharing lots of that here, in this space. But for now—to make sure we’re on the same path and you actually need and want to reach that summit, quick question: 

Are you an addict? What is addiction anyway?

Okay, that’s two questions. I ask because: 

First, as a licensed healthcare practitioner helping folks struggling with breaking painful cycles and recovering from addiction, I get those questions from clients and their loved ones. I also get them from fellow healthcare professionals and colleagues—holistic and allopathic alike. 

Second, when I embarked on my own journey decades ago—braving those first steps amidst tangled overgrowth and a daunting incline—I had those questions too. Problem is, no one I asked had answers—never mind a map that made sense! More than that, no one I asked seemed to speak the same language. 

So—with time and experience and years spent on my own climb and helping others scrambling in rough spots or still struggling at the trailhead—well, I learned a few things. 

Here’s a foundational one to make sure we’re on solid footing…and, if the timing feels right, to get your own journey (or next leg of that journey) underway. 

Addiction is the patterned and repetitive use of any substance or action that attempts to fill a Void / fix a Wound, but instead makes things worse by reinforcing the whole pattern.

Let’s break this down, line-by-line. Addiction is…

…the patterned and repetitive use

Addiction is a cycle. While many recovery approaches acknowledge this, most do not bring a 5,000-year-old system that draws on the wisdom and cycles of Nature to inform medicine, support recovery, and optimize health.

By using these cycles as a map and guide, Chinese Medicine can chart and predict the whole. Seeing the whole expands perspective. Seeing the whole lets us identify where an unhelpful cycle of patterned and repetitive use is weakest…and where we can break it.

…of any substance or action 

Addiction does not discriminate based on human traits, characteristics, or personal beliefs or choices. There are universal laws that apply regardless of a person’s skin color, culture, economic status, etc….and whether the pattern involves using alcohol, heroin, gambling, screens, food, relationships, cigarettes, etc. 

You name it, and we’ve got it covered. No matter what the substance or action, when it comes to addiction, shared cycles and “laws” apply.

…that attempts to: 

• Fill a Void

• Fix a Wound

Here again, there’s room for everyone! The root and momentum of addiction may be primarily an effort to fill a Void…to fix a Wound…or a combination thereof (which, in my experience, is usually the case - more on what this looks like in our next post). 

Whatever language resonates with you, as an individual, is what’s most useful and most important.

…but instead makes things worse by reinforcing the whole pattern.

Whether you resonate with Void or Wound, the mechanism of addiction feeds  the origins of the problem. This is why, unaddressed, an addiction or “bad cycle on repeat” grows stronger…and stronger. 

If there’s a Wound, the Cycle of Addiction will provide more of the same brand of pain that originally created that Wound. (The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery Lesson’s #12-16)

If there’s a Void, the Cycle of Addiction will reinforce Limiting Core Beliefs. These beliefs are exactly what the voices emanating from that un-fillable Void sound like. (The Sober Shaman’s Path of Recovery Lesson’s #6-11)

Whatever language you use and whatever your beliefs, the Cycle of Addiction plants more of the same Seeds—reinforcing, perpetuating, and strengthening a painful, predictable process.  

In other words (and to add a plot twist):

Now, back to my friend Craig.

Braving the rocky, overgrown wilderness—trekking through bear country and scaling steep mountains—is not for the faint of heart. Craig’s a seasoned hiker yet would never attempt it without supplies and a plan. Given the choice, I wouldn’t either (plus, maybe some bear spray).

Same goes for addiction recovery. Same goes whatever your drug of choice and whatever labels or language you use.  

It’s way less confusing and scary when you go in with a map and supplies. It’s even less confusing and scary when you follow a guide who’s been there, knows multiple routes, and understands that the view from the top is SO worth it. It will change your perspective on the journey itself…and the vast horizons beyond. 

Finding courage to ask the question is your entry. From there, our journey begins. So…

Back to you…

Are you an addict? 

If addiction is…

the patterned and repetitive use of any substance or action that attempts to fill a Void / fix a Wound, but instead makes things worse by reinforcing the whole pattern…

Does this apply to you and your journey? If you feel called, let us know (or ask questions or disagree!) in the comments. 

Copywriting and editing by my wife and partner, Dr. (whom you can also find at )